“Swoon” Show Notes: Episode #80 – Talk to Me: Does Couples Counseling Actually Work?

Jeff Guenther, LPC on Sep 20, 2020 in swoon

Have you ever asked yourself if couples therapy actually helps? Are you a little skeptical about couples work? Let Julie and Gina talk through the reasons it "works" for some and not for others.

This episode covers:

  • How to know if couples counseling is going to work for you?
  • What is the goal of couples therapy?
  • Who does marriage and couples therapy really work for?
  • How do you know if your therapist or coach is a good fit for you?

    Memorable quotes

    "A lot of times people come in hoping the therapist is going to side with them and fix the other person."

    "Sustainable change takes a little while."

    "What happens when you're unhappy? What happens when you're struggling?"

    "Yeah, couples counseling totally works but it depends on your motivation, the timing, your willingness to shift and take accountability and whether or not this is the best relationship for you."

    "Relationships should take work, effort, energy, and attention. But should it be painful all the time? NO."

    "If you don't like your therapist it's not going to work."

      Resources from the Podcast

      Division of Labor Swoon Episode: https://www.therapyden.com/blog/swoon-show-notes-episode-8

      Brene Brown Podcast on 50/50 Myths in Relationships

      Action Steps

      Ask yourself:

      • What are my goals in couples work? How will I measure success?
      • How much energy do I have to put into this outside the sessions?
      • What will help me own my part in the dynamic we've created?
      • What will help me hold a mindset of willingness and curiosity?

      Get support

      Looking for coaching? Connect with Gina

      Looking for a therapist in Oregon? Connect with Julie

      Looking for other therapeutic support? Check out TherapyDen

      Your Swoon hosts

      Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sexuality counselor and communication consultant specializing in healthy boundaries, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity. She supports non-traditional couples all over the world as a retreat leader and certified relationship coach.
      Connect with Gina

      Julie Jeske, LPC is a sex and relationship counselor. She has a private practice where she helps clients increase intimacy, ignite passion and deepen their connection to themselves and others. Julie especially loves to help women discover who they are sexually. Through counseling, online classes, or in-person retreats; her clients learn how to talk about their sexual and relationship desires, and explore ways to make them a reality.
      Connect with Julie

      Jeff Guenther is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Ashville, NC.

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