One of the most fun topics, and still most challenging to talk about in session is oral sex.
Julie and Gina break down some of the most common issues clients face when approaching the topic, and how to overcome them in your relationships.
“Put it in your mouth.”
“Because of the way oral sex is presented in porn there can be a performance pressure for people that makes people second guess their ability, enjoyment or skill.”
“Oral sex can be an avoidance tactic when people want to avoid other sex… How can we change that up so instead of obligation, avoidance or resignation it can give you energy instead of feeling like a drain.”
“The sense of ‘supposed’ to or ‘should’ can be really problematic.”
“It’s really important just holistically around sex to remember everyone is an individual. And especially when it comes to something as intimate as oral sex, trust the person you are with to tell you what they or their body wants.”
“People come into the sexual realm wanting to feel very confident and competent so they don’t ask enough questions.”
“There is so much opportunity for yummy erotic conversation here to explore the person you are enjoying, we don’t have to have it all figured out.”
“Talking about talking about it is really important.”
“There is quite a diversity in the human body.”
“If you’re expecting it to taste like cotton candy you’re going to be disappointed.”
Explore your own taste, smell, and pleasure
Talk about oral sex with intention. Thinking about and talking about it proactively can help you be prepared when one of your mouths is full.
Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sexuality counselor and communication consultant specializing in healthy boundaries, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity. She supports non-traditional couples all over the world as a retreat leader and certified relationship coach.
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Julie Jeske, LPC is a sex and relationship counselor. She has a private practice where she helps clients increase intimacy, ignite passion and deepen their connection to themselves and others. Julie especially loves to help women discover who they are sexually. Through counseling, online classes, or in-person retreats; her clients learn how to talk about their sexual and relationship desires, and explore ways to make them a reality.
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