“Swoon” Show Notes: Episode #29 – U Can't Touch This: Healthy Boundaries

Jeff Guenther, MS, LPC on Sep 29, 2019 in Swoon

When it comes to healthy boundaries, most of us don't have good models. We either set super rigid boundaries and have none at all. Or we set boundaries and the people around us say we are being mean or selfish. On this episode of Swoon Gina and Julie talk about healthy boundaries – why they are important, what they look like and how to honor them.

This episode covers:

  • What are boundaries?
  • What makes boundaries so hard for so many people.
  • Boundaries are not only about what we don't want but also about what we want to embrace and invite in as well.
  • The way boundaries can encourage intimacy and connection.
  • Using your body as an indicator for where your boundaries are.
  • How trauma or boundary violations affect your ability to trust your intuition.
  • Setting and maintaining boundaries is a practice.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Boundaries are not only about limits or what you don't want – boundaries can also include what you want more of and making requests.”

    “Creating boundaries in relationship is an opportunity for intimacy and connection.”

    “You can't have trust without boundaries.”

    “One of the things I love about boundaries in terms of sexual connection is that they create safety, it creates that safe container that allows us to surrender and give in to experiences more. I don't have to be hyper-vigilant if I know is permissible or not permissible in our sexual relationship.”

    “Our bodies are one of the best indicators, they will tell us when our boundaries need adjustment.”

    “If in your family or as a child your boundaries weren't respected – you can learn to mistrust your intuition.”

        Resouces from the Podcast

        Healthy Boundaries Class on Gina’s Website

        Boundaries and Protection book by Pixie Lighthorse

        Action Steps

        Ask yourself:

        • What body signals tell you your boundaries need adjustment?
        • What are you trying to cultivate or nourish?
        • What do you need to ask/request/invite to nourish this?
        • What do you need to guard against/protect it’s growth?
        • How will you know when it’s working?

          Your Swoon hosts

          Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sexuality counselor and communication consultant specializing in healthy boundaries, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity. She supports non-traditional couples all over the world as a retreat leader and certified relationship coach.
          Connect with Gina

          Julie Jeske, LPC is a sex and relationship counselor. She has a private practice where she helps clients increase intimacy, ignite passion and deepen their connection to themselves and others. Julie especially loves to help women discover who they are sexually. Through counseling, online classes, or in-person retreats; her clients learn how to talk about their sexual and relationship desires, and explore ways to make them a reality.
          Connect with Julie

          Jeff Guenther is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Portland, OR.

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