“Swoon” Show Notes: Episode #119 Listener Question: How Much Should I Let Him Help Me?

Jeff Guenther, LPC on Jun 27, 2021 in swoon

This week on Swoon, Gina and Julie talk about how to decide when and if you're giving or getting too much in your relationship. Should you let them take up more space in your life? Listen to learn how you know.

If you have a question you want to be addressed on a future episode, leave us a voicemail at 971-202-0969.


This episode covers:

  • How can you decide if you're getting too much or giving too much in a relationship?
  • What should you think about when discussing money with your partner?
  • What makes talking about money and buying gifts so challenging when dating?
  • How do you know when the balance of finances in your relationship is working?

                              Memorable quotes

                              “We all ask questions about money, power, control, and worth in relationships."

                              "It can be really challenging to receive care or gifts in a relationship if you're not used to it."

                              "I don't know why we do relationships if we're not into giving or receiving care."

                              "How we are raised and socialized determines a lot of the ways we make meaning out of giving and receiving."

                              "Maybe he just wants to be nice and celebrate."

                              "Are you blocking yourself from something?"

                              "How much do you want him in your space? How will you know when it's in balance? How will you know when it's working?"

                              "Is it important to you to have this place to yourself?"

                              "How much should I allow my partner to help me?"

                              "Gifts can become ghosts of old relationships in your house."

                              "Does the cost make you feel like you owe them something?"

                              "What would feel good?"

                              "There's nothing inherently wrong with receiving things from a partner who has more money than you do."

                              "If I had a bunch of orgasms and I gave them to you, would you feel indebted to me? It doesn't have to mean anything you don't want it to."

                              Resources from the Podcast

                              Swoon Podcast: Love Languages Episode

                              Swoon Podcast: Division of Labor & Household ResponsibilitiesSwoon Podcast: Relationship Stages

                              Fair Play

                              Bari Tessler, Financial Therapist

                              Action Steps

                              Discuss the themes of money, control, power, giving, and receiving with your partner. Ask yourself what does feel good when you balance giving and receiving in your relationship?

                              Leave a question on our voicemail if there's something specific you want to learn more about - then we can address it on a future show: 971-202-0869!

                              Looking for professional relationship support? Connect with Gina

                              Looking for a therapist in Oregon? Connect with Julie

                              Get support

                              Join Julie and Gina for the Best Sex of Your Life in 2021

                              Love More Fight Less: A Relationship Workbook, Gina Senarighi

                              Your Swoon hosts

                              Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sexuality counselor and communication consultant specializing in healthy boundaries, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity. She supports non-traditional couples all over the world as a retreat leader and certified relationship coach.
                              Connect with Gina

                              Julie Jeske, LPC is a sex and relationship counselor. She has a private practice where she helps clients increase intimacy, ignite passion and deepen their connection to themselves and others. Julie especially loves to help women discover who they are sexually. Through counseling, online classes, or in-person retreats; her clients learn how to talk about their sexual and relationship desires, and explore ways to make them a reality.
                              Connect with Julie

                              Jeff Guenther is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Ashville, NC.

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