“Swoon” Show Notes: Episode #118 When Your Partner Comes Out as Transgender & NonBinary

Jeff Guenther, LPC on Jun 20, 2021 in Swoon

This week on Swoon, Julie hosts Gina and her partner Rae, Senarighi (@transpainter) and our Pride month themed conversation on relationships and coming out transgender or nonbinary and gender transition. Happy Pride!

If you have a question you want to be addressed on a future episode, leave us a voicemail at 971-202-0969.

This episode covers:

  • How can you be an ally if your partner comes out as transgender?
  • What helps you stay together through a gender transition?
  • How can you learn to be a stronger ally if transgender is a new concept for you?
  • What are common concerns that come up when one partner comes out as transgender?
  • How can you get curious about what someone is wanting as their gender exploration and expression changes?

                                Memorable quotes

                                “There are as many ways to be transgender as there are trans and nonbinary people."

                                "Relationships aren't static. If you want it to last a long time, hopefully, you're gonna evolve, and grow, and change in some ways. And gender identity is a part of that, even for people who don't identify as transgender."

                                "Be fierce in your insistence on supporting each other's exploration.”

                                "If there's anything you want in partnership it's for them to be living authentically."

                                "If you're planning to get together for a long time, one day one of you will bring up something tender and the other of you will get reactive. That's gonna happen. Gender or not, you will find your reactivity point somewhere in a long-term partnership. So what are you gonna do about it?"

                                "Cisgender partners, you can be a teammate to your transgender, nonbinary, or gender non-conforming partner."

                                "How to have hard conversations stays the same no matter the content of the conversations."

                                "This is an opportunity to grow together, like every transformation in life and relationship."

                                "The more we can talk about the scary and. intense stuff the easier it becomes. Take your time and keep checking in with each other."

                                Resources from the Podcast

                                My Gender Workbook

                                The Queer and Transgender Resilience WorkbookFor therapists: The Clinicians Guide to Gender-Affirming Care Meet Rae Senarighi

                                Love More Fight Less, Communication Workbook for All Couples, Gina Senarighi

                                Action Steps

                                No matter what your gender identity is you can explore it!

                                Follow the excellent transgender and nonbinary speakers and educators online, for example, @transpainter, @wethenorths, and @thejefferymarsh

                                Get a therapist or coach who has supported other nonbinary and/or transgender clients in a relationship in the past.

                                Leave a question on our voicemail if there's something specific you want to learn more about - then we can address it on a future show: 971-202-0869!

                                Looking for professional relationship support? Connect with Gina

                                Looking for a therapist in Oregon? Connect with Julie

                                Get support

                                Join Julie and Gina for the Best Sex of Your Life in 2021

                                Love More Fight Less: A Relationship Workbook, Gina Senarighi

                                Your Swoon hosts

                                Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sexuality counselor and communication consultant specializing in healthy boundaries, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity. She supports non-traditional couples all over the world as a retreat leader and certified relationship coach.
                                Connect with Gina

                                Julie Jeske, LPC is a sex and relationship counselor. She has a private practice where she helps clients increase intimacy, ignite passion and deepen their connection to themselves and others. Julie especially loves to help women discover who they are sexually. Through counseling, online classes, or in-person retreats; her clients learn how to talk about their sexual and relationship desires, and explore ways to make them a reality.
                                Connect with Julie

                                Jeff Guenther is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Ashville, NC.

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