“Swoon” Show Notes: Episode #36 – Love of My Life: What is a Healthy Relationship

Jeff Guenther, MS, LPC on Nov 17, 2019 in Swoon

A lot of people wouldn’t know a healthy relationship if one hit us in the face. Today Julie and Gina focus in on the ways you can know your relationship is healthy.

This episode covers:

  • How to identify when a relationship is healthy
  • How relationship trauma confuses survivors about what healthy relationships look like
  • The skills you need to preserve a healthy relationship
  • How to draw the line between harm and discomfort
  • How to identify when abusive patterns are present in relationships

                  Memorable Quotes

                  “Based on your individual experience certain things are going to either serve you or harm you.”

                  “We should have some discomfort when we’re building a life with someone. Being vulnerable and disagreeing both are going to be uncomfortable. It can be hard to draw a line between harm and discomfort. Discomfort can be a part of a healthy relationship, but harm is not. Its hard to admit that relationships take work- but it can’t be all work or all draining.”

                  “Instead of using sex for athletic pursuits… the Olympics of sex is not about the connection or the pleasure.”

                  “If there’s hope alive that can be a sign there are healthy factors in the relationship.”

                  “Self awareness is a huge component of relationship health.”

                  “Relational awareness is a huge predictor of not just happiness, but the growth we can experience in relationship.”

                  “Personal reflection and personal accountability are huge predictors of strength in a relationship.”

                  “Do you have space to check in with yourself? Are you staying in touch with your supports? The more isolated you become the less support you have for your growth.”

                  “Explore your shared values more than your shared interests.”

                  “What do we have to shift in our conflict style so you can disagree and stay in love with each other?”

                      Resouces from the Podcast

                      Power and Control Wheel to identify abusive dynamics

                      National Domestic Violence Hotline

                      Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman PhD

                      Healthy Love Playlist

                      Action Steps

                      Couples Shared Values Worksheet

                      Relationship Wellness Assessment

                          Your Swoon hosts

                          Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sexuality counselor and communication consultant specializing in healthy boundaries, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity. She supports non-traditional couples all over the world as a retreat leader and certified relationship coach.
                          Connect with Gina

                          Julie Jeske, LPC is a sex and relationship counselor. She has a private practice where she helps clients increase intimacy, ignite passion and deepen their connection to themselves and others. Julie especially loves to help women discover who they are sexually. Through counseling, online classes, or in-person retreats; her clients learn how to talk about their sexual and relationship desires, and explore ways to make them a reality.
                          Connect with Julie

                          Jeff Guenther is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Portland, OR.

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