Codependency

Codependency, sometimes referred to as “relationship addiction," describes sacrificing one’s personal needs to try to meet the needs of others. Although it is often associated with romantic relationships, codependency can be experienced in all types of close relationships, including with family and friendships.  Someone who is codependent has an extreme focus outside themselves. Their thoughts and actions revolve around other people, such as a spouse or relative or they build their identity on helping or “saving” other people. Codependents typically experience feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety and insecurity in these relationships and may also experience perfectionism and control issues. Codependent symptoms can worsen if left untreated. If you are worried that you might be codependent, reach out to one of TherapyDen’s codependency experts today!

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Do you have trouble with people pleasing? Always focusing on external issues or everyone else’s issues which leads to you ignoring your own needs or being able to care for yourself? I can help! We will work together to understand your relationships throughout your life to understand what led you to this place and work to chip away to build healthy boundaries and how to learn or relearn how to care for your own needs and wants.

— Emmily Weldon, Counselor in Marco Island, FL

Codependency is when you struggle with prioritizing yourself or implementing healthy boundaries with others. You are typically more concerned with helping others feel okay about themselves and the world than you are thinking of yourself, your values, and your goals in life. If you struggle with codependency, you always feel the need to stuff your emotions so that others around you are not uncomfortable. Codependency is many other things, but you know it is too exhausting to be sustainable.

— Amanda Alberson, Counselor in Westminster, CO
 

Codependency means so much more than enabling with someone you love and today this idea has expanded to include adults who may or may not have lived with an addict. Codependency can more accurately be defined as the tendency to put others needs before your own; accommodating to others to such a degree that you tend to discount or ignore your own feelings, desires and basic needs.

— Gary Alexander, Therapist in Vancouver, WA

Early childhood trauma can resurface in intimate relationships, and can manifest as codependent behavior patterns. I help clients develop self-compassion and awareness to break toxic relationship cycles.

— Angela Allan, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Oakland, CA
 

If your relationship is not the place you want it to be. You would like to have a loving relationship with your partner and for some reason that not happening. I would like to help you figure out why. A codependent relationship in all of its form and simply a relationship is not working because of many different reasons. Sometimes it would help to have another person in the process to figure out why.

— Ronica Clark, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Codependency can mean a lot of things: I define it as the ways in which we unconsciously make agreements with others in which both parties get their needs met in indirect (and sometimes harmful) ways. Working through codependency involves getting in touch with our true motivations, realizing where we have charged others with our care, and taking ownership of our own feelings and needs. My approach is influenced by my studies in Nonviolent Communication and the 12-step philosophy.

— Julie Osburne, Associate Professional Counselor in Portland, OR
 

I think codependency can be misunderstood and more people struggle with it than you may think! Codependency can show up in the form of focusing much more on others needs than on your own, perfectionism, and working hard to feel worthy. You might struggle to set boundaries, overwork in your job to feel good enough, or try to manage your appearance and body size to avoid feeling unworthy. I help people like you build confidence, set boundaries, and let go of guilt.

— Ashley Hamm, Licensed Professional Counselor in Houston, TX

When you give so much of yourself to others, it can feel like you lose parts of yourself in the process You might find it difficult to set boundaries or voice your true inner feelings. Together, you can learn to recognize and honor your inner voice, trust your intuition, and integrate the different parts of yourself enabling you to live life more fully and authentic to who you are.

— Lindsay Anderson, Professional Counselor Associate in , OR
 

If your relationship is not the place you want it to be. You would like to have a loving relationship with your partner and for some reason that not happening. I would like to help you figure out why. A codependent relationship in all of its form and simply a relationship is not working because of many different reasons. Sometimes it would help to have another person in the process to figure out why.

— Ronica Clark, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Anxiety keeps you hiding. Although, sometimes, you honestly don't know what you want. It just feels best to you when everyone around you is content, first. You often think about how you can make things better for other people because it makes you feel good. It's hard to think about doing things just for you; to make a plan around something you want for yourself. These thought habits are not bad and they helped you through your childhood, but it's ok to know your actual desires & plan for them.

— Randi Kofsky, Marriage & Family Therapist in Santa Monica, CA
 

Codependency is a pattern of behaviors & thoughts that can occur in relationships where one person is overly focused on the needs & problems of the other person, to the point of neglecting their own needs & feelings. Codependency can take many forms & can occur in romantic relationships, family relationships, or in any other situation where one person feels responsible for the well-being of another person.

— Sanah Kotadia, Licensed Professional Counselor

Working with substance use disorders for the past decade the two go hand and hand. Recognizing how experiences from childhood have resulted in maladaptive coping mechanisms, negative core beliefs, and the process of healing and replacing with healthy boundaries, effective communication, changed thought processes, resulting in increased self-esteem and self-worth.

— Denae Arnold, Licensed Professional Counselor in Wheatridge, CO
 

A lot of times how we connect with others gets pathologized. The language of codependency is often stigmatizing. The work isn't to stop being "codependent," but rather about finding balance between being able to self-validate/regulate& recognizing when you need to lean on the support from others. I utilize the lens of "interdependency" to help clients recognize where their relational behaviors go into extremes and how they can find balance in their relationships.

— Colby Bruner, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Overland Park, KS

I have experience with 12-step recovery and love to support women and men dealing with adult-child issues, codependency, self-esteem, and developing healthy coping and self-care habits.

— Margarita Prensa, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in New York, NY
 

If your relationship is not the place you want it to be. You would like to have a loving relationship with your partner and for some reason that not happening. I would like to help you figure out why. A codependent relationship in all of its form and simply a relationship is not working because of many different reasons. Sometimes it would help to have another person in the process to figure out why.

— Ronica Clark, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Codependency is often tied to the relationships that we have with addicts in our lives. Codependency is often defined as behaviors that enable behaviors we wish to see the end of but it often comes from a place of love, care and concern for others. The problem is that love, care and concern can result in giving too much to others. My goal in helping clients who struggle with codependency is to help them establish healthy boundaries so they can be supportive without overwhelming themselves.

— Aaron Bachler, Counselor in Tempe, AZ
 

Codependency can be very confusing and debilitating. It is when what you think, say, or do depends on what you THINK another person will think, say, or do. You don't feel free because you base decisions on things that are out of your control, nor will they ever be in your control. This is because we can never control what another person thinks, says, or does. I will show you an "Area of Control" model to help you stay in your area of control.

— Nicolette Bautista, Psychologist in Folsom, CA

Often with addiction comes codependency , I enjoy helping others identify their codependency and work through it

— Sara Farrell, Addictions Counselor in Creve Coeur, MO
 

I am drawn to support women who are dealing with co-dependency, low self-esteem, perfectionism, challenges with romantic relationships and career/work challenges.

— Margarita Prensa, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in New York, NY

We will explore patterns of behavior and ways that you may relate to others that may be influenced by codependency. We will help you identify and understand the root causes, which may include childhood experiences or past trauma. Through therapy, you will learn to develop new coping strategies and tools for setting boundaries, improving communication and developing a stronger sense of self. The goal is to help you achieve greater emotional independence and build healthier relationships.

— Marnie Boyd, Licensed Professional Counselor in , TX