Codependency

Codependency, sometimes referred to as “relationship addiction," describes sacrificing one’s personal needs to try to meet the needs of others. Although it is often associated with romantic relationships, codependency can be experienced in all types of close relationships, including with family and friendships.  Someone who is codependent has an extreme focus outside themselves. Their thoughts and actions revolve around other people, such as a spouse or relative or they build their identity on helping or “saving” other people. Codependents typically experience feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety and insecurity in these relationships and may also experience perfectionism and control issues. Codependent symptoms can worsen if left untreated. If you are worried that you might be codependent, reach out to one of TherapyDen’s codependency experts today!

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Working with your inner child, address emotional triggers, gain insights into thought patterns and behaviors that are routed in fear. Reclaim your sense of safety, stability and joy, make choices for yourself that are motivated from self care and let go of people pleasing and guilt.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY
 

Working with substance use disorders for the past decade the two go hand and hand. Recognizing how experiences from childhood have resulted in maladaptive coping mechanisms, negative core beliefs, and the process of healing and replacing with healthy boundaries, effective communication, changed thought processes, resulting in increased self-esteem and self-worth.

— Denae Arnold, Licensed Professional Counselor in Wheatridge, CO

If you are a people pleaser or put others needs above your own there's a good chance that you are struggling with codependent behavior. Codependents put all of their energy into taking care of others often at their own expense and with little in return. This kind of behavior is also common in relationships where domestic violence is involved. I am a recovering codependent and I can help you to identify some of these behaviors and work towards being more assertive.

— Christine Cuhaciyan, Counselor in Seattle, WA
 

Do you have trouble with people pleasing? Always focusing on external issues or everyone else’s issues which leads to you ignoring your own needs or being able to care for yourself? I can help! We will work together to understand your relationships throughout your life to understand what led you to this place and work to chip away to build healthy boundaries and how to learn or relearn how to care for your own needs and wants.

— Emmily Weldon, Counselor in Port St. Lucie, FL

Are you the one who always takes care of everything? Have you had to do things for yourself most of your life? "Codependency" is a big word that doesn't have to involve substance abuse. Ironically, its most common subjects describe themselves as "independent." If thinking about someone else's problems occupies more of your time than you'd like, let's talk.

— Kathryn Gates, Marriage & Family Therapist in Austin, TX
 

I deeply believe in the healing that comes from exploring our attachment wounds and addressing the resulting toxic cycles that this carries into our relationships. I've worked extensively with addiction recovery, addicted family systems and the subsequent coddpendent dynamics that ensue. I have specialty training in working with all of these populations along with personal and professional experience.

— Michelle Byrd, Counselor in Denver, CO

Do you spend too much time thinking about other people? Are your needs usually on the back-burner because you are worried about the needs of others in your life? Do you feel responsible for the happiness of others? If any of this resonates with you, you may have difficulty prioritizing your own needs and setting healthy boundaries in your relationships. Let’s work together to establish (or re-establish) a healthy relationship with yourself.

— Bianca Walker, Licensed Professional Counselor in Atlanta,
 

Codependency is one of the most silently destructive addictions because it is a form of compulsive self-neglect that is culturally supported in helping professions, religious communities etc. I often see a widening gap between the external validation codependents receive and the internal exhaustion and self-alienation that grow over time. Codependents are often deeply inhibited and unfulfilled, quietly resentful of loved ones, and afraid to speak their truth.

— Geoffrey Ashmun, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor

Do your relationships suck and stress you out? I mean relationships with EVERYONE: your boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, boss, etc. Are you constantly fearful of disappointing people? Or you just can't stand up for yourself no matter what? Personally, I believe this is the most difficult and terrifying issue anyone can face (but do it anyway!). This is the hidden disease of our time. I can help you find your True Self.

— Matt Anderson, Licensed Professional Counselor in Edmond, OK
 

Codependency means so much more than enabling with someone you love and today this idea has expanded to include adults who may or may not have lived with an addict. Codependency can more accurately be defined as the tendency to put others needs before your own; accommodating to others to such a degree that you tend to discount or ignore your own feelings, desires and basic needs.

— Gary Alexander, Therapist in Vancouver, WA

Self esteem is essentially how we relate to ourselves and our world. It’s how we value ourselves, it’s a basis for our thoughts and behaviors, our attitudes and relationships. It’s where our self worth resides. We need self esteem to feel effective in managing our lives. Self esteem is self-empowering.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY
 

Codependent can be tricky to show itself and understand. I've defined it as someone who is addicted to folks in their life that are addicted to substances. Codependent have found ways to organize themselves around other people, placing themselves at a much lower priority on their own needs. And that can be very hard to admit and it takes time to explore and trust the process of exploration. Through assessment, psycho-education, handout, media, together the journey to healing can start.

— Barbara Morales-Rossi, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Monterey, CA

Developing healthy boundaries to increase satisfaction in interpersonal relationships; coping skills to develop self-autonomy and recognize others' autonomy.

— Michelle Jauwena, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Placentia, CA
 

Working with your inner child, address emotional triggers, gain insights into thought patterns and behaviors that are routed in fear. Reclaim your sense of safety, stability and joy, make choices for yourself that are motivated from self care and let go of people pleasing and guilt.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY

Codependency is often tied to the relationships that we have with addicts in our lives. Codependency is often defined as behaviors that enable behaviors we wish to see the end of but it often comes from a place of love, care and concern for others. The problem is that love, care and concern can result in giving too much to others. My goal in helping clients who struggle with codependency is to help them establish healthy boundaries so they can be supportive without overwhelming themselves.

— Aaron Bachler, Counselor in Tempe, AZ
 

I am trained in and utilize Pia Mellody's "Developmental Immaturity" model of codependency treatment, known as Post Induction Therapy. https://www.themeadows.com/workshops/post-induction-therapy-pit/

— Aly Dearborn, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in , CA

I am passionate in helping others to identify codependency patterns and traits negatively impacting their relationships with themselves and intimate relationships leaving them feeling empty in the end.

— Shawdi Spencer, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Sherman Oaks, CA
 

Co-dependency is so absolutely destructive in our lives. In my 20+ years of my own co-dependency recovery and helping others navigate through co-dependence, I am confident that understanding the roots of your codependency, how it impacts your relationships on a daily basis and finding recovery, might be the most impactful work that you can do as an adult.

— Kellie Rice, Psychologist in Chicago, IL

If you spend most of your time and energy taking care of others and you rarely put your needs first, you may be struggling with codependency. You may have grown up with an alcoholic parent or a parent who is more focused on their own needs than yours. You probably have a hard time expressing your feelings and needs and you may also be a perfectionist and feel like you can never make a mistake. With therapy, all of these things can change and you can become a more confident, grounded person.

— Jenna Ghazanfari, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Gold River, CA