“Swoon” Show Notes: Episode #97 – We Can Work It Out: Relationship Agreements

Jeff Guenther, LPC on Jan 24, 2021 in Swoon

We all come into relationships with default beliefs and expectations. When those unspoken expectations aren't met it's easy to feel disappointed or resentful. This week Julie and Gina explore how to make relationship agreements and what to do when they aren't honored.

This episode covers:

  • Why you need agreements in your relationship
  • Common relationship agreements
  • How you know if you need an agreement in a certain area
  • How to make agreements
  • Tools to keep you keep your agreements
  • What happens when your agreements aren't honored
  • How agreements change over your relationship lifespan

              Memorable quotes

              “We all come into relationships with our ideas about what we think is typical or normal and we often expect other people to have the same expectations or the same belief systems”

              “So many of us don't make agreements in our relationship until there's a problem.”

              “Most agreements go unspoken so we end up with all of these expectations you haven't agreed to and then I get resentful if you don't meet them.”

              “Everyone is in a 24x7 power play, just some people negotiate their agreements.”

              “The agreement is only as good as the follow through part of them.”

              “When I make an agreement and I don't consistently honor that agreement, that will affect how you view me and how safe you feel in our relationship.”

              “Your relationship is going to evolve and so are your agreements.”

              Resources from the Podcast

              Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs: A Relationship Workbook for Couples by Gina Senarighi (Specifically Section 4 and 6)

              Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky

              Action Steps

              Get Gina's book

              or hire a therapist or a coach.

              Get support

              Sparkle: A Relationship Refresh for 2021

              Love More Fight Less: A Relationship Workbook, Gina Senarighi

              Your Swoon hosts

              Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sexuality counselor and communication consultant specializing in healthy boundaries, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity. She supports non-traditional couples all over the world as a retreat leader and certified relationship coach.
              Connect with Gina

              Julie Jeske, LPC is a sex and relationship counselor. She has a private practice where she helps clients increase intimacy, ignite passion and deepen their connection to themselves and others. Julie especially loves to help women discover who they are sexually. Through counseling, online classes, or in-person retreats; her clients learn how to talk about their sexual and relationship desires, and explore ways to make them a reality.
              Connect with Julie

              Jeff Guenther is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Ashville, NC.

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