“Swoon” Show Notes: Episode #39 – All I Want for Xmas Is You: Healthy Relationships Through the Holidays

Jeff Guenther, MS, LPC on Dec 07, 2019 in Swoon

This time of year can be very stressful for couples and relationships. Listen in as Julie and Gina explore ways you can stay connected to your loved one(s) even amid the holiday hustle.

This episode covers:

  • Why so may relationships struggle during this time of year
  • How to manage your stress independently and in relationship

                        Memorable Quotes

                        “There are so many layers of tenderness and potential tension this time of year, of course some of it’s gonna erupt in relationships.”

                        “Sometimes my partner is an easy target for my other stresses and sometimes my partner is the cause of stress.”

                        “If you’re feeling stress, you are NOT alone.”

                        “There are a lot of feelings of “I should…” so then, in addition to all the other stuff we’re experiencing our self-judgment can be paralyzing.”

                        “Sometimes it feels like we don’t have choice in these situations. We do have a choice. Unfortunately, a lot of our choices are shitty. And they do have consequences.”

                        “Every choice we make has a reaction.”

                        “Choosing not to participate is always an option.”

                        “Keeping the peace is a choice. The consequence is the energy drain for you.”

                        “The familiar setting is chaos and reactivity. If I decide to remove myself from all that with healthy boundaries is unfamiliar and will likely cause a reaction among the people who are familiar with the system that’s so accustomed to things that aren’t working for me.”

                        “Go or not is one choice. How I go or don’t go is another layer of choices.”

                        “You can limit time, or money, or energy, or content in situations where you feel uncomfortable.”

                        “It’s okay to step away too.”

                        “You can check out what boundaries you need to feel safe.”

                        “It doesn’t matter how much therapy you’ve had. When you go back home to be around your family stuff still comes up. What do I need so I don’t get hooked back in.”

                        “Having needs is not being needy. It’s taking care of ourselves. Sometimes we need another person to help us.”

                        “The clearer I can get about my intention, the better boundaries I can cultivate.”

                            Resouces from the Podcast

                            Healthy Holiday Intention Planner

                            How to Talk to Your Family About Racism on Thanksgiving, Rachel Cargle

                            Action Steps

                            Think about what meaningful support or self-care will look like before, during and after events that might be stressful.

                            Ask what your intention is when you choose to participate in events and rituals this season.

                            You can find a therapist at TherapyDen.

                                Your Swoon hosts

                                Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sexuality counselor and communication consultant specializing in healthy boundaries, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity. She supports non-traditional couples all over the world as a retreat leader and certified relationship coach.
                                Connect with Gina

                                Julie Jeske, LPC is a sex and relationship counselor. She has a private practice where she helps clients increase intimacy, ignite passion and deepen their connection to themselves and others. Julie especially loves to help women discover who they are sexually. Through counseling, online classes, or in-person retreats; her clients learn how to talk about their sexual and relationship desires, and explore ways to make them a reality.
                                Connect with Julie

                                Jeff Guenther is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Portland, OR.

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