We create a lot of stories, in relationships and in our lives. This week on Swoon, Julie and Gina dive into relationship assumptions, how they affect relationships and how to change them.
Call Gina and Julie and get your question on air in a future episode: 971-202-0869!
“We create a lot of stories, in relationships and in our lives. We love to create meaning and our meaning is not always based in reality It is often created because of fears or past experiences.”
“It's a thing we all do. You can't live in the world without making some assumptions somewhere.”
“We are constantly filling in the gaps with our assumptions.”
“You can't always trust your thoughts.”
“I spent 3 days thinking, 'she hates me, she thinks I'm a toast stealer, she thinks I don't respect order'...all this insecurity projected about toast!”
“The bigger the gap, the more room there is to create stories.”
“This is why we talk about having weekly check-ins and dates and daily rituals.”
“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
“Not dealing with it now is only going to postpone dealing with it later.”
Gina's Book - Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs: A Relationship Workbook for Couples - especially page 62
Start noticing when assumptions are happening, especially when they are negative. When you notice a negative assumption, challenge yourself to make 2 positive or generous assumptions/stories.
Use “the Feedback Wheel” by Terry Real
Leave us your assumption on our voicemail so we can address it on a future show: 971-202-0869!
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Love More Fight Less: A Relationship Workbook, Gina Senarighi
Your Swoon hosts
Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sexuality counselor and communication consultant specializing in healthy boundaries, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity. She supports non-traditional couples all over the world as a retreat leader and certified relationship coach.
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Julie Jeske, LPC is a sex and relationship counselor. She has a private practice where she helps clients increase intimacy, ignite passion and deepen their connection to themselves and others. Julie especially loves to help women discover who they are sexually. Through counseling, online classes, or in-person retreats; her clients learn how to talk about their sexual and relationship desires, and explore ways to make them a reality.
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