You Can Get Through Tough Times!

CHONA Green, Psy.D. on Feb 07, 2023 in Mood and Feelings

Life can really get difficult. Sometimes life throws some real curveballs, and we start to feel so down, angry, and depressed about the way life is unfolding for us. The universe becomes the enemy, and we begin interrogating it, asking different questions about why bad things always happen to you. Why does it seem like your relationships never work? Why does everyone seem so much happier than you? Why can’t you ever reach that point in life that you’re searching so hard for? Life can get so confusing at times, and it just doesn’t make sense.

Down the Rabbit Hole

It becomes very easy to turn these problems inward, to find ways to blame yourself for the outcomes. Why else would it feel like nothing good ever happens to you or that you just have the worst luck in the world?

But these are just feelings. Your feelings are not facts! You are quite entitled to your feelings, but sometimes your thoughts and feelings can lead you down a spiral of sadness and self-pity. This rabbit hole will make you feel like your life is spinning out of control, and it can become difficult to pull yourself out of this negative space.

S.O.S.

So how do we dig ourselves out of this ditch of negativity? We have to do something! It might take time to get back to feeling normal, and that’s okay. What’s important is that you try to do something everyday to get you through this tough time. This is when you should be reaching out and relying on those people who love you. Let others support you through this difficult period of time. Call your best friend and vent to them, invite your friends over to your place, let them cook for you, get a hug. Allow others into your heart and your physical space. It will make you feel better and maybe even give you a reason to get out of the bed and shower, if you haven’t done that.

This is also the time where you should practice those self-care strategies and engage in those activities that bring you joy. I know you don’t want to and don’t feel like doing those things, but this is the most important time to participate in these activities. Try journaling, take a walk outside, get some fresh air, take a deep breath, clean up your space, practice gratitude. There are so many activities you can do to make yourself feel better, but you have to just do it. Force yourself if you have to, but just do it because it will be for your benefit.

Now being honest, no activity that you do will change your situation. The situation is what it is. We can only accept the situation and make due with it. But once we accept what’s going on in our lives, we can figure out how to move forward, and that’s what life is all about. We will never get anywhere or reach that point we want to see if we do not continue to move forward. We can’t become stuck in the rabbit hole. You are equipped to deal with this because you are more than capable of getting through tough times.

“It is only in our darkest hours that we may discover the true strength of the brilliant light within ourselves that can never, ever, be dimmed.”

– Doe Zantamata

CHONA Green is a Psychologist in Columbia, MD.
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