Kristal DeSantis, LMFT on Jan 31, 2019 in Relationship and Family
One of the questions I ask my clients is: are you living your best possible life? Often we get so busy in the day to day minutia of life that we can tend to lose focus on the bigger goals. Is your life working for you? What does living well look like to you? And, are your day to day actions bringing you closer to that goal or taking you farther away from the life you want to be living?
This is a question that we ask children a lot: "what do you what to be when you grow up"? And we often see that question as something only children have the luxury of actually thinking about. After all, who has time to imagine a different life, when this one is demanding time, energy, and your constant attention?
However, the New Year is a perfect time to re-imagine this question, not necessarily as "what do you want to be when you grow up", but maybe as "who do you want to be?" That reframing of the question can allow you to stay within the life you live now, ie: you don't need to quit your job, move states, and start over; but it bring focus more on living it with intention. Beginning with the intention of who you want to be in the world, how you want to show up in your relationships, and how you want to be treated by your partners is an internal shift that begins on the inside.
If you have been unsatisfied in your life or relationships and have tended to focus on an external change to hopefully get you to where you want to be: ie, "if I just made more money, if I just lost 20 lbs, if my partner just would step up more", and have not experienced the desired changes; then why not make this your year of changing your approach? Make this your year of changing your approach to focus on, "how can I live a life that feels fun and fulfilling within the budget I currently have; how can I learn to love the body I am in; how can I set stronger boundaries, or express my needs more in my relationships" and see what a difference it makes.
Beginning therapy can be a good step in creating the space in your life to ask these questions and to begin to create the life plan that works for you. Finding a positive therapeutic relationship with a qualified therapist can also help provide the support you need on your journey to your best life.