Jack Disselhorst (he/him)

In addition to my work as a couples therapist, relationship issues arise often in individual work as well. Within any relationship, challenges often arise related to communication, feeling misunderstood or undervalued, and shifts in relationship dynamics. Often, unexamined past experiences contribute to the holding patterns we find ourselves in. My work regarding relationship issues involves investigating inner lives to identify what's keeping us from truly finding each other.

Men today face a unique set of expectations and problems; they are also generally discouraged from discussing them, which takes a severe toll on men's mental wellbeing. Cultural ideas about masculinity and upbringing practices can lead to many adult men lacking the means to understand or articulate what exactly is making them unhappy or unfulfilled. Acknowledging and exploring the pressure that is inextricably linked with manhood is often a first step in my work with men.

As queer people, life can often feel doubly confusing and demanding. Exclusion and judgment both from cis-het people and other queer people can often contribute to unhappiness of many forms. However, the queer experience also offers the unique potential for queer joy, love, and acceptance-- something many of us didn't receive or experience nearly enough early on in life. Unpacking the unique challenges and strengths of one's gender and sexuality inevitably arises in al my work with LGBTQ+ folks.

Even just the prefix 'psycho' can turn off or intimate some people, often conjuring images of Sigmund Freud laying someone on a chaise lounge, holding up ink blot paintings for them to interpret. In modern Psychodynamic Therapy, we believe that past experiences leave meaningful impressions in our minds, which can show up later in life to help or hinder us. My Psychodynamic work involves us getting more of an understanding into what you've experienced in life, and how it's influencing you today.

When a couple starts couples therapy, it often feels like the same argument has been had over and over with the same breakdowns in communication occurring again and again. In my work with couples, I use a blend of psychodynamic therapy and Gottman method to aid couples in understanding one another more deeply, seeing their conflicts more clearly, and building helpful, honest means of communication. This includes both monogamous , ENM, open, and poly relationships.

Experiential therapy (ET) is particularly helpful for folks who cognitively 'understand' their issues, and may have even been in talk therapy extensively before, but who still feel stuck, unrealized, or unhappy. It is often the avoidance of particular emotions that can lead to unwanted behaviors or the activation of numbness or anxiety. ET focuses on fully experiencing the present, sensorially and emotionally, typically leading to intensified senses of authenticity, clarity, and meaning.