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I have realized as of recently that sometimes it is portrayed to us that healing can come quick and that there is a quick fix to feeling better. However, in my own personal experience and my years of helping others, I have learned that this is far from the truth. The healing journey includes bumps in the road, sometimes increased discomfort for a little while, trips and stumbles, setbacks, relapse, any number of uncomfortable feelings. That is just it though! It is UNCOMFORTABLE and I truly believe that if we can accept and honor this discomfort then our healing journey may be a tad less painful. 

I heard somewhere once that our society is “pain phobic”. This term “pain phobic” settled with me so deeply that I could almost feel it in my bones. It moved me in a really huge way. It moved me into recognizing that I want to be the spokesperson for changing the “panic phobic” world that we live in- even if it is just a few people. I also believe that being “pain phobic” is a cause of not being in control of our pain. For example: I have 11 tattoos and I will sit there through all of them, but go to the dentist? NO WAY. Because I don’t have control. It is the same when it comes to emotional pain. How easily I will bring a dog into my family KNOWING that I will lose her someday; however, in the past I have avoided all talk of grief and trauma. Then, I decided to go into that dark muddy talk, and accept and HONOR how I felt. How freeing was this? I learned to sit in the discomfort and learned that I wouldn’t melt into a puddle and just die. I learned that discomfort in only temporary. 

I have also been able to teach clients and friends this as well. I have been able to sit with them, in that discomfort, and let them know they were safe. And many of them walked out of the session feeling proud and determined to do their healing work. This is what I hope for those that I am blessed enough to work with, to show them that it is okay to sit with that discomfort and eventually learn how to release it from their minds and bodies. Remember that you will feel good again someday, if you can just take one step towards healing. That might mean talking to a friend, getting a counselor, going for a walk, or maybe even just getting up and taking a shower. So maybe try taking that first step…like…right now.

Adrienne Marcellus is a Mental Health Counselor in Colorado Springs, CO.
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