Jake, a gay man in his 30's, was introduced to therapy in fifth grade. It wasn’t great. When Jake was young, his family thought he might need more masculine energy in his life. He wasn’t really having it. He broke up with his assigned Big Brother. He had one powerful therapy session with a local therapist right before his family packed up and moved to Portland. After a few failed attempts over several years, Jake went to a therapist following an event at work that triggered obsessive thoughts. Finally, this therapist was the perfect fit. Tune in to hear what he thinks straight therapists should know about gay clients and a bizarre story about his experience with a psychiatrist. Jake was a delight to chat with and this episode is full of funny and moving moments as he shares his therapy journey.
Jeff, a licensed therapist and the host of Say More About That, talks with Jake about his experience of searching for a therapist and going to counseling.
On his first good therapy experience:
“She was a really cozy, earthy, lesbian in her 30’s that had lots of pictures of whales and wolves in her office. She said, ‘you’re a kid that has a lot of hormones and you’re okay. You’re normal.’”
On his thoughts about therapists seeing young and hip people:
“If you’re dealing with kids and teens who are kinda fickle and not always emotionally generous, I kinda think that you need to be into the culture. At least a little bit.”
On getting to know his favorite therapist:
“He is a gem of a human being. And I mean this in the most non-sexual way ever, but he truly has the ‘big dick energy.’ Like in the way they say that about Jeff Goldblum. He’s just someone who is so comfortable with himself and allows others to feel comfortable with themselves.”
On what he liked about his favorite therapist:
“He allowed there to be a sense of love and care. He gave me hugs a couple times. I don’t know how much of a taboo that is. I always got a clear sense that I was of importance when I was in the room with him and that there was never anything that I should be ashamed of.”
On his message to straight therapists:
“This is something for straight therapists to hear when they are dealing with gay men who are in their 30’s or 40’s. Which is that when you grow up, and especially if someone has abused you or something, that you understand that that person, their entire life, has been told directly or indirectly, that there is something predatory about them. And it’s something that’s not really talked about very much.”
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