William Lamers

Conflict is present in every family system. It is important to resolve conflict in order to return back to an adaptive, functional family system. Identifying maladaptive thought/behavior patterns, improving communication skills, and increasing interpersonal understanding between each family member can provide a path to returning to the level of functioning a family wants to be at.

Every couple experiences conflict. There are many times where two people in a relationship will be faced with a disagreement. Some couples are able to work through these disagreements on their own. Other disagreements may be harder to work through. Couples therapy is a great place to work through these disagreements that present as more difficult to process.

Divorce can lead to a plethora of challenges for all parties. You may feel like you just lost your best friend. You may be struggling financially after being limited to one income. Your children may be experiencing confusion trying to make sense of the process. On top of that, the legal aspect of divorce is especially tiresome. Divorce can present a lot to manage at once, and therapy can be a great place to process the stress of it all.

The root of CBT is identifying maladaptive thought/behavior patterns. Once these maladaptive patterns are identified, change can begin. I use CBT in a collaborative method that offers different perspectives between clients and myself to identify the behaviors that are preventing a client from meeting their goals.

The client is the expert on themselves. While counselors may be knowledgeable in treatment planning, theories, conflict resolution, etc., counselors are not the experts on their clients' lives. Each client is a unique individual with unique factors contributing to their unique presenting problems. While overall theories are great for general concepts, they sometimes overlook the individual needs of a person. Remaining person-centered prevents these individual needs from being overlooked.

There are many different methods that can be applied in couples counseling. I tend to incorporate elements of many of these theories, but I mainly focus on conflict resolution, interpersonal communication skills, and increasing emotional intimacy.