Shelly Crossland (she/her)

I completed a training program for Sex and Relationship Coaching in 2020, and began working with clients around issues in relationships and intimacy at that time. I enjoy working with individuals who are seeking a deeper understanding of their needs, desires, and boundaries within dating, relationships, and intimacy. I especially enjoy helping people who identify as having Anxious Attachment, being codependent, or experiencing high anxiety and overthinking within relationships and intimacy.

My personal experience growing up with undiagnosed ADHD, which manifested as an inability to regulate my emotions, extreme sensitivity, and emotional outbursts, caused me to feel like something was "wrong with me." I approach my work with neurodivergent individuals as a way to give others the support and tools I wish I'd had sooner. I enjoy helping clients "unmask" and find ways to live their most authentic lives, learning to thrive with ADHD.

The mind-body connection is central to the work I do with clients. I believe everyone can benefit from building a stronger connection to their body. I help my clients increase awareness of sensations in their body that may be trying to communicate something the mind is not yet aware of. This can be as simple as taking a moment to check in and notice your quickening heartbeat, tightness in your chest, or tension in your shoulders.

Internal Family Systems therapy was created around the idea that we all have an internal system with parts that hold different roles. This model is helpful in understanding adaptations in response to trauma, and it allows compassion to come through in the midst of parts that might cause you to experience discomfort. I have found IFS work to be especially helpful for those with ADHD, Anxiety, CPTSD, sexual trauma, and perfectionism.

Attachment work is key to understanding how we operate within romantic relationships and intimacy. I am particularly passionate about helping those who may identify with Anxious Attachment and who see this impacting their relationships. I help clients better understand what attachment is, where our attachment wounds come from, and how to heal and find healthier ways to exist within relationships.

I specialize in helping individuals who are struggling in relationships, dating, or intimacy. Many of my clients find themselves stuck in patterns of people-pleasing, perfectionism, or anxious attachment, and see these traits negatively impacting relationships. I also specialize in helping people with a history of trauma or unhealthy relationship patterns, learn how to create a healthier relationship with their partner today.

Many of my clients are women who are experiencing low libido/low desire, feeling anxious or avoidant around initiating or engaging in sex, or feeling disconnected or dissatisfied when they do engage in intimacy. I also work with couples experiencing difference in desire and libido, and help them uncover the deeper issues and work towards cultivating more intimacy together.

As a neurodivergent therapist, I am passionate about helping my clients learn to embrace who they truly are and what makes them unique. This includes working with Neurodivergent folks (ADHD and/or Autism) to help them embracing the uniqueness of their brains, and understand how to work with their brain instead of against it. I assist my clients in breaking the cycle of masking (pretending to be someone they are not, or putting on a type of performance for others).