Services
- Individual
About My Clients
My clients hear a lot of this from their partner/spouse: You are not emotionally available. Don’t try to fix it, just listen. You just give one word answers. Do you have anything else to say? I don’t feel like a priority. You need to learn how to handle your stress. My clients often respond in the following ways: Getting angry and either exploding or shutting down. Having their mind go blank in the middle of a conversation. Walking on eggshells at home, afraid to say or do something wrong.
My Background and Approach
While creating relationships has always come naturally to me, knowing what to do when my wife said, “We need to talk” did not. As a cisgendered white male I was raised to avoid conflict in relationships and keep the peace. Saying “Okay, you are right, I am sorry” and praying she wouldn’t be angry is just what men do, right? No. Because this isn’t the 1950s. It was time for me to step up. Luckily, both my wife and I went to school for Marriage and Family Therapy and worked relentlessly to understand our patterns, share honestly with each other, and practice an abundance of patience as we worked on ourselves individually. It shouldn't take two master's degrees to have a successful marriage. Learn from my 15 years of marriage and 10 years of clinical experience.
My Personal Beliefs and Interests
Equity and Justice. Equity means all people receiving what they need to succeed. Currently, each system in our country from healthcare to education is set up to benefit white, straight, cis men like myself. This is not the world I want to uphold. Non-traditional Norms. Toxic masculinity hurts everyone. Unhelpful gender norms and expectations have shaped our ideas of identity and partnership. I challenge myself and my clients to notice how outdated beliefs about masculinity can negatively influence how we act today. Life-Long Learning and the Power to Choose. We always have choices, even in the scariest of situations. The human brain continues developing and growing even into the golden years which means we can all learn something new. When an explosive angry reaction or a withdrawn shame response to your partner becomes automatic, then it's time to actually address what keeps overriding your ability to slow down and choose intentionally.