Paul Callister PhD, CMHC, CGP

Self-esteem rarely shifts through affirmations alone — it shifts through real experience with other people. In my process groups, clients get direct, honest feedback in real time, which challenges old beliefs about being unlikeable, too much, or not enough. Paired with individual work, this helps build a sense of worth rooted in actual relationship, not just self-talk.

Many of my clients notice the same relational pattern in nearly every close relationship — pulling away right when they crave closeness, avoiding conflict until resentment builds, or holding back what would actually deepen a bond. I work relationally, often incorporating process groups where clients practice new ways of relating and get real, in-the-moment feedback — not just talk about what happened elsewhere. This combination helps people see, and start to shift, those patterns.

I work with couples caught in the same recurring fight, emotional distance, or a sense of drifting despite good intentions. Drawing on attachment-based and relational approaches, I help partners identify what's driving the disconnection and practice turning toward each other differently. My background in group process also shapes how I work with couples — attending to what's happening between you in the room, not just what you report happened at home.

My clinical thinking is shaped by modern group analysis and psychoanalytic writers including Ormont, Spotnitz, Bion, and Bollas. I'm interested in what stays outside of awareness — the buried feelings, resistances, and relational patterns that show up not just in what clients say, but in how they relate to me and, in group work, to each other. This depth-oriented lens helps clients understand not just their history, but the living, present-tense patterns still shaping their relationships.

My work is grounded in attachment theory and influenced by Sue Johnson's EFT model. I help individuals and couples identify the underlying attachment needs and fears driving their conflict cycles — the pursue-withdraw patterns, the protest behaviors that mask a longing for closeness. By slowing down and naming what's really being asked for beneath the fight, clients and couples can begin to respond to each other with more security and less reactivity.

I help couples caught in the same recurring fight, emotional distance, or a slow drift apart despite good intentions. Rather than just problem-solving the surface issue, I work with what's happening between partners in the room — the tone, the pull-away, the bid for connection that gets missed. My relational training, including group process work, sharpens my ability to track these in-the-moment dynamics, helping couples build a different, more honest way of turning toward each other.