Nicole Borneman (she/her)

I am a systemic thinker. I know that when two or more people enter a relationship, they are also bringing all of their lived experiences with them. Our past impacts our present, whether or not we are aware of it. This can result in conflict or persistent communication issues. Using an attachment lens, I help partners consider how they were shaped into the people they are today, and how to use that knowledge to empower positive change in their relationships.

Studying attachment theory is what inspired me to become a therapist. I believe a person's relationship with their primary caregiver(s) has a significant impact on how they show up in modern day. Of course, attachment styles are continuously impacted by romantic partners and other significant relationships. I integrate attachment theory in all of my relational work, and many of my individual clients benefit from discussing attachment as well.

I decided to become a Marriage and Family Therapist because I wanted to work with couples. The MFT track trains folks to be systemic thinkers, and my schooling focused on the interactions between partners, families, and more than one individual (i.e., relational work). My caseload is about 60% individual, 40% relational clients.

I believe anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions. Anger has so much to teach us. What sparks anger? What memory or narrative is that spark attached to? I enjoy working with clients who are committed to managing their anger and irritability, especially when that anger/irritability is connected to symptoms of anxiety or depression. I utilize Havening Techniques, a gentle psychosomatic trauma treatment, and the Window of Tolerance, a nervous system regulation framework, in my work.

I believe anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions. Anger has so much to teach us. What sparks anger? What memory or narrative is that spark attached to? I enjoy working with clients who are committed to managing their anger and irritability, especially when that anger/irritability is connected to symptoms of anxiety or depression. I utilize Havening Techniques, a gentle psychosomatic trauma treatment, and the Window of Tolerance, a nervous system regulation framework, in my work.

I am a queer-identified and queer-affirming therapist. I enjoy working with clients who are exploring their gender identity or sexuality. This work may be done in individual therapy or in relational therapy with partner(s) or family members. While the outside world is becoming increasingly binary and heteronormative, my office is and always will be a safe space for folks of all identities. My intention is for all of my clients to feel validated and supported as their authentic self.

I have specialized training in Brainspotting and Havening Techniques, both of which are noninvasive strategies that can help clients process and release traumatic memories. Brainspotting is similar to EMDR, though participants typically report it is less intensive. Havening Techniques works with the amgydala to downregulate upsetting memories, just like EMDR and Brainspotting, though what makes Havening stand out is that it is a gentle psychosomatic approach that many find soothing.