Monte Miller (he)

Our thoughts lead to emotions. We are not helpless victims to our emotions. Yes, some are wired to just be more emotional, depressed, or anxious. But as rational intelligent humans, we have more power in us than we realize. We all have numerous, and often conflicting different voices in our head. However, we are not often fully aware of all of our automatic thoughts and assumptions that end up guiding our emotions in a negative manner. A therapist can help uncover these thoughts.

Are you an Overthinker? Mindfulness can be a great set of ideas and techniques to help calm and quiet the mind, in addition to many other issues. It is similar to CBT but with a little more specific emphasis on increasing self-awareness and being present in the moment, not in the past or the future. It has a deep relaxation element to it, which I have always tried to incorporate into so many areas of therapy and in my own life. It can also be useful for many sexual areas as well.

Many, both men and women, have been the victims of sexual, as well as emotional and physical abuse. It can change our views of sex, our self-worth, our relationships, and even view of God, sometimes in unusual and unrealized ways. Many learn to avoid sex or seek it out in harmful ways. No need for shame though. You are safe here to express your deep thoughts that we don't share we anyone and even try to keep from God. You are indeed a victim, but I do not want anyone to stay a victim.

Infidelity and Porn are big issues. But I am more concerned with the marital sexual experiences. Get the relationship and sex right and the other issues are much easier to deal with. Sex is a very pressured filled experience. It is a vulnerable and scary act, though it is intended to be fun and amazing in how it can extend our emotional intimacy, as God intended it to be.

Both the man and the woman need to be equally heard and understood. I focus a lot on how deeply our insecurities and selfishness play a role in how we deal with our spouse. I teach the basics of what love is and how to communicate well. I help uncover the subtle and not so subtle problems of pride and selfishness, but in a loving, but direct manner.

There's no shame in seeking help with life and relationships, even as a man. I'm used to working with men who have never been in therapy period there's never any shaming or judging. Sexual struggles - infidelity, cheating, porn issues, performance anxiety — are all very common with so many men. Relationships and marriage in general are also very difficult. I understand women and can help you understand women. Whether you have been the bad guy in relationship or you have been trying your hardest and the woman is the difficult one, I am here to help