Kerry K Skiffington (she/her)

Specifically Border Personality Disorder; I don't know what it is but when I began in practice I found that people challenged by fear of abandonment and impulsive reactions seemed to gravitate toward me. And my colleagues began to refer people with Borderline symptoms to me. I seem to click for reasons that a few clients have summed as: "I like it that you call me on my shit." It has been nearly a decade and some most successful clients have come from this highly stigmatized bunch.

Been there, done that, and yes, t-shirt too. Early in the 2000's I had four straight years of depression and missed too much of my daughter's last years in high school. When I was a child I suffered from it too and my mother's words made me feel stuck in that experience as the way the world just is. She said, "Your just depressed because you think you are." I found out differently and now I am pretty damn happy -with moments, of course- and will share the techniques that pulled me out of it.

Although I don't find myself overcome by anxiety except in a few specific cases, so many clients with everything from PTSD or trauma-related anxiety and with generalized anxiety have done well with my methods. The single strongest skill I have shared is how to deal with the ever-present question "what if...?" with humor and creativity as well as sure-fire chilling techniques.

Before becoming a therapist I thought CBT was too intellectual and critical of clients, but once I was trained in how to use it for people with trauma histories, I found a powerful way to use it. I began helping clients recognize self-destructive thinking in a way that could be eye-opening, validating and empowering. I use CBT skills both personally and with every client as reframing puts control of one's own feelings back in our own hands.

As a buddhist I learned the value of living this day, of being 'in the present moment.' So much of our days are filled with fears of the future and rehashing the past, totally missing the often beautiful present moment. Mindfulness isn't hard to do, though so many people think that they can't stop those racing thoughts, assuming that it's for everybody else but them. With so many ways to be mindful, together we can find the right one for you - and you probably do at least one already.

This is a bunch of wonderful skills that provide a road map for how to navigate some of life's most difficult challenges for people - getting needs met, self-advocating, feeling heard, and interacting with others without blaming, confrontation or anger. I teach how to set boundaries and stop allowing others to set the agenda, but the first hurdle is sometimes just figuring out what it is that you truly want and giving yourself permission to go after it.

This is a bunch of wonderful skills that provide a road map for how to navigate some of life's most difficult challenges for clients - getting needs met, self-advocating, feeling heard, interacting with others without blaming, confrontation or anger. I teach how to set boundaries and stop allowing others to set the agenda, but the first hurdle is sometimes just figuring out what it is that you truly want and giving yourself permission to go after it.