Kelsey Hoff (she/her)

Deconstructing or leaving religion can bring on many unexpected life transitions, such as resigning from a job, ending a marriage, or moving to a new city. Many of my clients are those who's vocation included ministry, such as pastors or missionaries, and now they can no longer do that type of work and remain true to themselves. Therapy can be useful in these times to sort of the many 'parts' and find a way that is authentic and manageable.

ACT teaches you have to live according to your values so that you can not be thrown around by discomfort or challenging thoughts or emotions. ACT offers very practical skills that help you to take active steps towards the life that you want to live and manage challenges as they come, rather than avoiding and then not living up to your full potential.

Family Systems Therapy is all about how your upbringing and family or origin contributes to how you are today as an adult. By understanding where you came from, the rules that you absorbed, and how that manifests today gives you agency to set boundaries, cut ties when needed, and make your life on your own terms.

Your story matters and how you tell that story dictates the role that you play going forward. Narrative Therapy utilises different ways of using language to understand how we interact with our problems and how we can become autonomous participants in our story, rather than continuing to play out old patterns that no longer serve us.

Those who deconstruct or leave religion often experience huge amounts of grief and loss. Even though they know that they have done the right choice, they are still leaving behind a belief system and life that required deep investment. This needs to be given time and space - which is what I provide as a therapist.

Those deconstructing fundamentalist religion have to go through many transitions, often very quickly. For example, someone in a ministry vocation (pastor, priest, missionary, etc.) needing to resign due to deconstruction or suddenly finding yourself without the support that you always had. I specialise in helping clients through these transitions so that they have live life authentically and with meaning.

Deconstructing or leaving religion often has vast implications for relationships and marriages. Being trained in marriage and family therapy, as well as my background in understanding the teachings about marriage in fundamentalist religions, I have a nuanced lens to understand and help clients work through the challenging relational dynamics that come with deconstruction/leaving/deconverting.