Jack Kilpatrick

I think the interface between the psyches of two people is at least as interesting as the individual psyche of one person. I have common sense approach to addressing relationship problems that can help couples communicate better and put positive structure into their relationship.

There is a lot of talk about "toxic masculinity" these days and I think it's appropriate. However, too often the distinction between toxic and non-toxic masculinity is blurred and never really sorted out. I like to work with men to help make clear distinctions in our lives between the toxic and the non-toxic. Masculinity doesn't have to be a bad thing, but toxic behaving guys are giving it a bad name.

I have been fortunate to be able to train in New Mexico with clinicians who studied under Bill Miller, who invented Motivation Interviewing at New Mexico State University. Motivational Interviewing is most closely associated with chemical dependency work, and this would be my approach to working with someone with problematic substance use. It's also an approach to any type of behavioral change whether substances are involved or not.

CBT is probably the most evidence-based treatment due to its efficacy and its lengthy history. I tend to focus more on the cognitive side of it, constantly scanning for the faulty beliefs that are making us less than what we could be (we all have them). It's more rare that I would recommend a behavioral intervention, but the strength of CBT is its flexibility to incorporate purely behavioral interventions-and they tend to work.

Attachment is pretty much the bottom line of most human behavior. If we could somehow pay everyone to attach with their children, jails, hospitals, drug treatment centers-and therapists-would be out of business. Unfortunately, parents can't figure this out, so we need to attend to these fundamentally wounding issues after the fact.

In ancient times, people would do rituals and sacrifices to try to control their environment. Obviously it was questionable what control they may have been able to exert over their natural world. Today, people engage in repetitive thoughts and worries, again to try to control their environment. Again, our thoughts don't give us control over this modern world. Today, the sacrifice is our own happiness. I can help you stop this needless pain in the service of nothing.

In ancient times, people would do all sorts of rituals and sacrifices to try to control their environment. Obviously it was questionable what control they may have been able to exert over their natural environment. Today, people engage in repetitive thoughts and worries, again to try to control their environment. Again, it's questionable what control we may have over this modern world. Today, the sacrifice is our own happiness. I can help stop the needless pain in the service of nothing.