Gabrey Milner (he/him)

I am able to help couples understand their core beliefs, motivations and patterns as individuals, and as a unit. This understanding of the self, and of each other, allows for the individuals in the relationship to be able to understand what has gotten in the way of constructive progress within the partnership and gives the couple the opportunity to picture what the road ahead can, and should be, for each individual and for the relationship as a whole.

I am comfortable exploring the ways that racial identity contributes to the shaping of an individual’s identity. The parts of a particular racial identity that are embraced and desired to be part of how someone defines themselves, and the ways that stereotypes, micro-aggressions & other expectations that are generated by other’s perceptions of someone’s racial identity can attempt to limit someone’s expression of their full individual identity when it conflicts with those outside expectations.

Depression (and it’s flip side, anxiety) is a feeling that is so difficult to navigate. First, because it is so uncomfortable and heavy to carry when we experience it, but also because of it’s invisibility, there’s often no obvious “reason” for it, which can cause us to add the additional burdens of self-loathing and shame to the depression that is difficult enough to hold. I start by working towards acceptance, to release those additional burdens, and more easily process the depression itself.

I am trained and adopt relational techniques that hold the psychodynamic frame, if a little more loosely than a purist might. Exploring the formative relationships and experiences that are sources of your core beliefs, patterns and coping mechanisms is often the starting point of my work with clients. Then we decide which of the patterns or beliefs aren’t still in service to you, which we work to let go of, creating space for new beliefs and patterns that will better serve you going forward.

This aspect of my orientation allows us to explore the unconscious, dreams, parts of ourselves that are hidden away and aspects of our identity that can be amplified to more fully embrace your fuller self. Using stories, myths, literature, even Star Wars and Marvel movies as ways to explore yourself definitely shows up often in my work with clients.

I believe that understanding your stories as individuals, helps you, and your partner understand the context around the conflicts that keep coming up, or that get more heated than they “”should be”. I try to help people understand their individual stories, their partner’s stories and the story of their relationship so far, which gives the necessary information in order to explore where the relationship should go in the future.