Erinn Hoel (she/her)

All of this is infuriating because you’ve worked really hard to be the best version of yourself, and you’ve accomplished a lot, but can’t seem to figure this out even though you've tried a thousand things. You’re so good at so many things but feel so bad at this. You can’t stop thinking about the expectations of what sex “should” be and how you’re falling short. You’re starting to question if it’s even possible to change things, which stresses you out more because what does that mean about you and your relationship? I help those who are frustrated and confused about low desire manage the stress of this, learn exactly how the system works, and remove obstacles getting in the way of connection. My clients get to know their sexual sides better and learn why focusing only on the sex, or avoiding this, hasn’t gotten them the connection they want. I use a systematic approach to help keep you on track so you can build a solid foundation as you work to increase desire.

We’ve all learned unhelpful info about sex and together we’ll explore the pressure to live up to unrealistic expectations and how to set more realistic, attainable goals. One of the reasons we struggle with sex is that we’re taught not to talk about it, especially when there’s a problem. "Fake it ‘til you make it, right?" "Keep it between us, yeah?" You probably haven’t had the space to have honest conversations and really consider what’s working for you, and what’s not. But learned behavior can be unlearned and you can replace these behaviors with healthy, helpful ones. I joke, swear, and ask a lot of questions and encourage my clients to do the same because it’s important we be ourselves. And focusing only on problems is draining so we’ll draw on your strengths and celebrate wins because trust me, they’re there. Therapy doesn’t have to be scary and can be a place to truly let your guard down and get to know yourself better. So come and start looking forward to sex again.