Denis Flanigan (he/him/his)

Having been in consensual non-monogamous relationships myself, I draw from personal experiences and my specialized training to apply traditional relationship theory to non-traditional relationships in a way that recognizes their unique needs. My perspective is not limited to "the right way" to be in non-monogamous relationships, instead emphasizing how clients can find their best personal approach that embodies mutual love and compassion and celebrates themselves and all of their partners.

I draw from my experience as a leader in the gay male leather community and my associations with the larger kink community and my specialized training to provide therapy that embraces clients' sexual selves. I work with clients to be comfortable with their own sexuality. I understand the importance of a supportive therapeutic relationship whether the concerns are kink-related or if one simply wants a therapist who won't see your sex as the problem.

Violating the expectations of a relationship is one of the hardest things a relationship can face, and I want to help clients process the betrayal and move forward. My focus is on understanding the reasons for the infidelity with an eye toward rebuilding trust and love. Whether a relationship stays intact or significantly changes, both recovering from the pain and restoration of hope through compassionate forgiveness are necessary in order for people to re-establish their healthiness.

I believe that at our core we are all worthy people. My therapy is geared to helping clients find and develop their best self. By releasing ourselves of the expectations others hold us to we can live an authentic life, realizing our true potential. Letting go of our insecurities allows our true self to emerge and gives others the opportunity to genuinely accept and celebrate us for the individuals that we are. True belongingness comes from allowing others to fully love us, even our flaws.

In my therapy the keys to happiness are to find personal meaning in one's life and to accept and move beyond the inevitable challenges of life. Our lives are meaningful when we have both a sense of the impact we can have on the world as well as have a path to personal joy. Life is difficult. While we cannot create a life without suffering, we can decide what proportion of our life is suffering and what proportion is joy. We have a choice to actively live or simply endure and wait to die.

I am interested in the way clients think about their world and how their personal histories affect the ways in which they interpret their experiences. I work with clients to better understand how their thinking interferes with having a rewarding life. Fundamentally, psychotherapy is about changing the way neural networks line up. In practice this entails clients learning new ways to think and to act. My goal is help clients think and act in way that help them become their best self.