Debra Alper

Couples can recover from infidelity. It takes hard work and vulnerability, but ultimately the damage that affairs can do can be worked through and partners can learn to rebuild trust and communication.

We learn how about relationships from our earliest experiences with our caretakers as children. We bring those unconscious lessons with us into our relationships with others-especially our romantic relationships and often times perpetrate unhealthy repetitions without realizing it. Have you ever felt like you were In the movie Ground Hogs Day-the same issues keep repeatedly playing out? That’s attachment issue at play and we work at recognizing and changing those patterns.

When you find yourself repeatedly in relationships that your needs have taken a back seat and that you are working hard to lose yourself in order to keep someone else happy you could be looking at codependency issues. We look at where those issues originate and work on developing a stronger healthier relationship with your self.

We learn what love is from how our primary caretakers showed up for us when we were completely dependent on them. When we had consistent, reliable, stable, unconditional love we feel securely attached and love feels safe. When we have inconsistent, uncertain caretakers that left us anxious as to if we would be safe, that shapes the model we have for what love feels like and we find ourselves anxiously or avoidantly attaching in adult relationships.