Cathy Johnston (she/her)

When you hit gridlock with relationship issues, I help with you get back on track with understanding and closeness. We want relationships to be positive, yet often struggle with balancing our needs and hopes with what our partner wants. We learn unproductive ways to communicate and relate, and then feel disappointed in ourselves and our partners. We have high expectations of what a relationship will bring to us, and can learn much about how to make that happen.

Sex is an integral part of who we are, but the cultural messaging around it creates so much doubt, confusion and disconnect. I'm sex positive and work to support clients in defining their sexual values and needs. I work with low or no desire, differences in desire, sexual anxiety, pain issues, changes in sexual response over time, out of control behaviors, dismantling cultural and religious myths about sex, and consensual non monogamy. I define healthy sex as relaxed, fun and non-goal oriented.

For some people, anxiety is ever present. For others, it shows up in response to specific issues or events. We'll work to uncover how biology, learned behaviors and life events contribute to anxiety for you. You can learn to be present with anxiety and respond to it so it feels more manageable, rather than trying to avoid or deny it.

I'm trained and licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist. I understand client's issues as reflecting their temperament, upbringing and experiences rather than evidence of personal shortcomings. We learn rules and ideals about what kind of person we should be, and what we should value in life. Sometimes these ideas fit for us and sometimes they don't. Problems are often a result of this disconnect, and exploring these influences creates space for change.

Couples: two people with overlapping and distinct needs, each wanting to find peace and joy through their connection. Couples therapy is about understanding the unproductive pattern you both inadvertently create in your attempts to feel loved. Tap into the control you have in the relationship: how you assert your needs, and how you understand and respond to your partner. Replace misunderstanding/blaming with validating differences and bridging them as a team.

When we run into a challenge, we tend to focus on what we're thinking and doing (or what our partner is thinking or doing) to try to solve the problem. While this is effective for many issues in life, it falls short when the issue is about wanting to feel personally fulfilled or have a healthy, rewarding relationship. Those goals require internal reflection and validation. EFT teaches learning to identify, accept and understand our feelings and needs.