Catarina Durante Bergue Alves (she/her)

Bodily, emotional, and mental reactions to abuse and neglect are survival-based, adaptive responses (we learn to act and relate in a certain way to keep ourselves safe in an unsafe environment). Those survival-based responses to personal and collective trauma are intrinsically built into the nervous system, and affect our mental and physical health, and the way we are able to relate to people and spaces.

Adolescence is a time for individuation, when we start developing our identity outside of our family system. And while this is a very adaptive milestone, it can also be full of challenges for both caregiver and adolescent. Although clients come to me with differing concerns, there always seems to be a thread that runs through: the transformative experience of having a confidential space in which adolescents can be met with genuine curiosity, care, and no judgment.

Early attachment experiences with our primary caregivers shape the adults we become and how we develop relationships. Attachment styles can be characterized by a healthy balance between independence and connection, but sometimes they are expressed by emotional distance, uncertainty, anxiety, insecurity, overthinking, preoccupation about how you will be perceived by others, and difficulty seeking help or comfort.

In my approach with children and caregivers, I strike a balance between attending to the differing needs of the caregivers, child, and family as a whole. I cultivate a private and safe space for the child to work through, process, name, accept, and learn different skills. That is usually done through a mix of play therapy, art therapy, storytelling, practicing scenarios and new skills, learning boundaries and kindness for themselves, and being freely able to express emotion.

I am my clients’ accomplice in change, and together we work to subvert harmful internalized messages, have compassion for our emotions, listen to the wisdom of our intuition, connect with kindness for ourselves, and discover agency. I intend not only to affirm my clients’ experiences, identities, and strength - but to collaboratively liberate: helping clients become author and actor in the process of dismantling internalized pain and oppressive systems.

When working with clients in a romantic relationship (whether couples, polyamory, non-monogamy, married, divorced, dating), I tend to foster open communication and emotional expression between partners. I work together with my clients to identify and break free from the conflict cycle. Although all couples have a version of this cycle, this becomes harmful when it starts preventing resolution and intimacy, leaving the people in the relationship each feeling lonely separately, together.