Caroline Rucker (she/her/hers)

Families have many moving parts in their day to day lives. If a family has 4 members, that means you are looking at 4 different individual's functioning, communication patterns, emotional experiences, beliefs, values, and thought processes. That's a lot to deal with in just one family! The Family System perspective will look at every member of the family as a part of a system. Instead of viewing each part individual, I would look at how they all function as a family. The whole is important!

When a couple presents to therapy with two different goals, one being to stay in the relationship, and the other being unsure, I would recommend discernment counseling. Discernment counseling allows for the couple to determine what they want for the future of their relationship. This can be deciding on a definite divorce, possible separation, or deciding on going to couple's therapy to work on any relational issues. The choice is up to the client, with the therapist being a coach.

Couples counseling can be for a variety of reasons. Maybe you're struggling with communicating through an argument effectively without ending up in screaming match. Maybe you feel like your needs aren't being met, or you and your partner are finding it difficult to meet together in an emotional sense. For whatever reason you need counseling, it's important to think of the relationship systemically. Each person is bringing their own emotions and experiences. We have to dig through it.

Divorce isn't something you expect when you're first married to your significant other. It can be an incredibly devastating experience, with many ramifications following suit. Whether you're seeking therapy to cope with a divorce, or coming with your partner to learn how to divorce well, I'm here for you. Feelings like hurt, betrayal, sadness, and anger may be your reality right now, and that's okay. Divorce isn't easy, but I'm here to help you through the process.

Family conflict is something that happens in every single family. Seriously, it does! You're not alone! Conflict in any type of system is going to occur naturally, whether that's due to change, or something traumatic happening. It is important to hear each member of the family on their feelings and experiences, while teaching new ways of interacting within the family that can cope with the new change or event. Change can be uncomfortable, but it is so worth it.

Each relationship is going to have their own struggles to overcome. It can be a miscommunication, or infidelity. It can also be dissatisfaction with your sexual intimacy, or different priorities on what to do with your finances. In each circumstance, it can be helpful to go to an unbiased third party to look inside the relationship and see what may be happening underneath the surface. Emotions and your family of origin can be huge factors to look at when discussing relationship issues!