April Bunch (she/her)

I have a personal history with health anxiety and panic disorder that got so much better through my work with a counselor. I use mindfulness and grounding techniques as well as cognitive behavioral therapy as the main treatment approaches.

I am in long-term recovery. I am well-versed not only in the 12-step approach, but also in something called REBT (rational-emotive behavior therapy), which is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy that can be very useful in attaining abstinence from addictive substances or behaviors. I used REBT in group work with jail inmates during my internship and I was impressed with how it helped many of them begin to process thoughts and feelings about their addictions in new ways.

It is common for people who didn't feel safe or connected to a primary caregiver as a child to have trouble with healthy attachments or relationships as adults. Through identifying the child-like parts of oneself and specifically what they needed and still need, those parts can begin to heal. Those parts can learn that you, the grown-up self, will always be there for them. Beginning to feel whole whether one is in a relationship or not is the goal here.

If you grew up feeling unsafe, alone, or rejected, you may carry these feelings into your adult relationships, whether they belong there or not. This attachment style can lead to feelings of insecurity, volatile relationships, and low self-esteem. I believe the client-therapist relationship to be a primary factor in healing attachment wounds. In a space of acceptance, trust, and positive regard, you can begin to feel whole – knowing you are there for yourself no matter what.

I am in long-term recovery. I’m familiar with both the 12-step recovery model and the SMART recovery model. The SMART model is based on rational emotive behavior therapy, a kind of cognitive therapy, that doesn’t have the same spiritual approach as the 12-step programs. When I was working with inmate populations, I found this therapy useful for introducing new ways of thinking about addictive behaviors and substance abuse.

I have dealt with health anxiety and panic disorder in my lifetime. There are many ways to treat anxiety, and I think it’s useful to approach it in a multi-faceted way. Some of the tools I use are mindfulness (calming the body), cognitive-behavioral therapy (what the heck are you telling yourself?!), and existential investigation, (for example, what are your thoughts on mortality?). Getting specific can help to dismantle the underlying thoughts and assumptions that lead to anxiety.

Existential therapy is very much anchored in the understanding that we are mortal beings who are grappling with the dualities of existence: everything matters yet nothing matters; we will die but we are alive now; we are alone yet we need connection; we have total freedom thus total responsibility for our choices; we need to find our own personal meaning for existence — there is no magic external solution. I think these truths are what lie beneath many anxiety disorders and addictions.

There is no one way to deal with addiction. It's whatever works for you. One thing that definitely doesn't work though, is ignoring it and hoping it will magically disappear. This is where counseling may be helpful. Rational-emotive behavior therapy can be used to explore what you are telling yourself about the need to use the substance or engage in the behavior. Becoming aware of these thoughts and determining their accuracy can help to build strength and resolve when it comes to abstinence.

Just as I believe everything is a spectrum, so it is with our thoughts. When we only allow ourselves to think in black and white terms, we often end up with ideas that are simply untrue. We are missing the whole world of gray in the in-between. CBT is a great antidote to black and white thinking as it requires noticing what your thoughts are, determining if they are 100% true, and asking if there may be other interpretations to consider.