Kathy Hardie-Williams

I believe that the key to strong and enduring relationships is the development of a strong sense of self. While the goal for most couples is to create a deep sense of intimacy, developing a strong sense of self is a prerequisite to creating emotional connection. Initially, the primary focus in my work with individuals, couples, and families is the individual growth and differentiation of each person in order to increase a strong sense of self. My work with clients then moves toward increasing their capacity to accept and tolerate differences, a process that must occur prior to increasing the emotional bond. The objective of my work is to facilitate the process of knowing yourself, which includes knowing what you need and want. You are responsible for articulating what you need and want to your partner and/or others from a direct and non-judgmental perspective that includes self awareness and the desire to know yourself and others you are connected to. I facilitate you, your partner, and/or other family members in identifying and communicating your needs and wants to each other.

My theoretical orientation stems from Psychodynamic Theory, where the purpose is to help you identify the root causes of the problems that make it challenging for you to permanently solve them, not just temporarily solve them, as well as to learn to differentiate, which means to tolerate differences in relationships while staying emotionally connected. This sometimes requires us to revisit our family of origin to gain an understanding of how we got from A to B. My goal as a therapist is to facilitate healthy and satisfying relationships, self understanding, spiritual connection, and the process of reaching your full potential. While this can be an extremely challenging task, I am very driven toward facing this challenge as a marriage and family therapist.

I take a structural family systems approach to therapy, and what that means is this: The role we take in the family system and the structure of the family system impacts the way we function in our lives, particularly in relationships. Individuals cannot be understood in isolation from one another, but rather as a part of their family, as the family is an emotional unit. Families are systems of interconnected and interdependent individuals, none of whom can be understood in isolation from the system. The way we are perceived by our family members in the family system is the mirror in which we see ourselves. I believe the mirror in which we see ourselves (our self esteem) is the foundation for how we are in the world, which impacts how we approach relationships and all aspects of our lives.

I believe that the key to strong and enduring relationships is the development of a strong sense of self. While the goal for most couples is to create a deep sense of intimacy, developing a strong sense of self is a prerequisite to creating emotional connection. Initially, the primary focus in my work with individuals, couples, and families is the individual growth and differentiation of each person in order to increase a strong sense of self. My work with clients then moves toward increasing their capacity to accept and tolerate differences, a process that must occur prior to increasing the emotional bond. The objective of my work is to facilitate the process of knowing yourself, which includes knowing what you need and want. You are responsible for articulating what you need and want to your partner and/or others from a direct and non-judgmental perspective that includes self awareness and the desire to know yourself and others you are connected to.There is a 'no secrets' policy in place that applies to my work with couples and families. In other words, I will advocate that you disclose anything that is pertinent to the treatment of the family or the couple system.

I facilitate you, your partner, and/or other family members in identifying and communicating your needs and wants to each other. Conducive to this process is the ability to experience a reasonable degree of conflict in your relationships and the willingness to believe that your relationships can improve. Transitions in families can be difficult. There are specific stages at which couples and families can anticipate major life transitions: marriage, the birth of a child, entering school, graduation (from elementary to middle school, from middle school to high school, from high school to college), military or something else, and transition into adulthood. These life transitions can make couples and families vulnerable to high levels of stress, which can be taxing on relationships. Blending Families: The transition into a blended family is rarely a smooth process. Some children may resist changes and parents can become frustrated when the new family doesn't function like their previous family. While changes to family structure require adjustment time for everyone involved, sometimes four to seven years, blended families can work out their growing pains and live together successfully.

There are a myriad of emotions that often surface with the decision to divorce. Specific emotions and dynamics often come into play depending on whether you are the initiator to get the divorce or the one who doesn't want the divorce. The initiator may have emotions such as distance, doubt, guilt, or relief surface while the one who doesn't want the divorce may have emotions such as betrayal, loss, grief, lack of confidence, rejection or shock surface. Emotions such as anger, revenge, the desire to reconcile, and insecurity may also surface. I often facilitate families in the process of divorce. When emotions are charged, as they often are during the process of divorce, it can help to have an objective third party facilitate ending a relationship, especially when children are involved. I can facilitate couples and families by supporting you in creating smooth transitions while learning effective coping strategies.