Darin Bergen PsyD

When going through a divorce or separation, it can feel overwhelming. Stress, fear, loneliness, grief and sadness, confusion - pretty much every painful emotion you can think of. Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences you can go through - it's actually near the top of most lists of stressful life events. The good news is that you don't have to go through it alone, and it can be a catalyst for amazing growth that can take you to places you never imagined you would be. I know this because not only do I help clients through this painful process, but I've gone through it myself. It took a lot of work and I wish I'd been able to get good help through the process. Help that wouldn't minimize my pain or give me meaningless cliches. I won't tell you that "everything happens for a reason" or that "every cloud has a silver lining." I will do my best to support you every step of the way to rebuilding your life and discovering new and exciting parts of yourself.

Trauma comes in many forms and many times people are afraid their trauma doesn't count because it didn't come from military service. Yes, being in combat is traumatic, but so is being raised in an abusive family, or being neglected. Being the victim of inappropriate and coercive sexual experiences is traumatic. Trauma has long-lasting effects when not treated - it's like an infected wound that keeps getting worse. Thankfully we know that treatment, when done by someone who is experienced and trained in treating trauma can be very effective. I've been trained in treating trauma across a variety of spectrums - from military combat veterans to survivors of childhood abuse and neglect. I use a model of treatment that involves 3 phases - 1) symptom stabilization and creating a safe environment, 2) focused trauma work and 3) post-trauma growth. I let my clients determine what kind of work they need and how quickly they want to progress.

Depression is often described to me like a heavy blanket has been laid over my clients lives. They struggle with painful emotions, but more often it's a feeling of emptiness, without energy or motivation. Unlike the antidepressant commercials with the rain clouds and sad cartoon characters, most of my clients continue functioning while feeling completely disconnected, rarely letting on to their suffering. I primarily rely on emotion-focused approaches in all of my therapy, but especially with depression. Together we begin exploring the emotional landscape underneath the emptiness and work on discovering how the emotional system is blocked so we can work on restoring it to healthy function.

Emotion-Focused Therapy grew out of decades of research into the process of changing emotions, which is what therapy is all about. There are two versions with similar names - I use the approach that is made for individual work (the other one is for couples). EFT uses your emotions as the guide for where therapy needs to go and we look to heal the emotional woundings or blocks that are causing the distress you're currently feeling. In addition to local mentorship, I have sought out training with the creator of the therapy (the original researcher) in Toronto to make sure I am using this approach to the best of my ability. I know that this approach can be very helpful, not only because of the research, but because it's the kind of therapy I seek for myself.