Pour Your Resources Into Your Self- Even If You're Not Your Ideal Self

SALLY RUMSEY, MS LPC EMDR-Certified on Oct 11, 2018 in Life Transition

If you were a fly on the wall in my office, one thing you would hear over and over again is, "I can't afford that."

Whether I'm suggesting paying for childcare so mom can have a few hours alone during the week, or grandma putting off the vacation she's been dying for because her son needs year-round help with his kids.

Now, it's true some people don't have wiggle room in their budget, and it's also true shelling out cash for weekly therapy can certainly make a huge dent in your savings.

What I'm talking about is the person who always thinks of themselves as the last priority. Whether they are not at their ideal weight so they don't think they deserve nice clothes, or the client with the chronic health problem who desperately wants an answer but doesn't feel like she's allowed to take away from her family's time or resources to seek help for herself.

I say the same thing to so many different types of people: "Pour your resources into yourself."
If you were at your ideal weight and in love with your body, how would you treat it? Would you take it shopping, give it a nice haircut. Exercise it to keep it happy?

The answer is probably yes. So why not do that to the same body we were just talking about? The body that works so hard for you day in and out, that carries you around (and probably a baby and toddler and 25 lbs of groceries all the way from the 110 degree parking lot up the steps and into the house?)

If your adult child had worked for three years to save for a vacation but then cancelled it because you needed a ride to the airport- what would you say? Would you say, "That's ridiculous! I'll call an Uber!" Of course you would.

Yes, these are silly examples, but I hope you see the point. When we are always putting ourselves last, sometimes our self-worth becomes distorted and we make decisions that do not serve us or the people that depend on us.

If you're in a pool and you're drowning, don't offer to save someone else. Save yourself. Then, after you've built up strength, do a shift as a lifeguard and help save others.

SALLY RUMSEY is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Hartland, VT.

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