Gottman Method

The Gottman Method is a therapeutic approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the relationship and integrates the research-based intervention, the Sound Relationship House Theory, into treatment. The method (and Sound Relationship House Theory) is based on the research findings of John Gottman’s in depth studies of married couples. The Gottman Method emphasizes the importance of building a strong “friendship system,” believing that investing energy in building a positive connection and knowledge of each other’s inner worlds will make your relationship more fulfilling, and will also make it more resilient to weathering storms. The Sound Relationship House Theory, a fundamental part of the Gottman Method, describes the essential building blocks of marital intimacy for building a lasting and healthy relationship (it includes things like managing conflict and creating shared meaning). Some common issues that the Gottman Method addresses include frequent conflicts or fighting, poor communication, sexual difficulties, infidelity and financial problems, among others. Think this approach might be right for you? Reach out to one of TherapyDen’s Gottman Method experts today.

Meet the specialists

I have completed Gottman training and work with relationship dynamics from the perspective of the Sound Relationship House lens. When asked Dr. Gottman stated he never had nonmonogamous relationships last long enough to study, fortunately I have that experience.

— Cody Glover, Licensed Professional Counselor in Austin, TX
 

My relationship work is rooted in the Gottman Method. The therapeutic process focuses on increasing interpersonal understanding of each partner’s worries, fears, and hopes; increasing mutual appreciation, respect, and fondness; identifying and effectively responding to bids for affection; improving conflict management and understanding the role of conflict in a healthy relationship; increasing effective communication skills; and developing a shared narrative for the future of the relationship.

— Jeanine Moreland, Clinical Psychologist in Chicago, IL

Maybe you've tried couples counseling in the past, and it didn't really help. Or perhaps you're on the fence about starting therapy, but you're not sure if therapy really "works." If so, the Gottman Method approach to couples therapy might be a good fit for you. The Gottman Method is an evidence-based approach, deeply rooted in research, that teaches couples to replace hurtful communication patterns with positive interactions, repair past hurts, and increase closeness and intimacy.

— Valery Krieg, Clinical Social Worker in Evergreen, CO
 

The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is based on Dr. John Gottman’s research that began in the 1970s and continues to this day. The research has focused on what makes relationships succeed or fail. This method teaches specific tools to deepen friendship and intimacy in your relationship. To help you productively manage conflicts, you will be given methods to manage resolvable problems and learn to engage in healthy dialogue about gridlocked issues.

— Rebecca Ray, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Houston, TX

When working with couples I primarily use the Gottman Method. Gottman Method focuses on helping couples increase respect and create an environment of appreciation for each other. As a result of this, couples tend to see an increase in intimacy and report that they are better able to navigate through conflict and are better able to process the aftermath of a conflict. Through the Gottman method couples gain education on relationships and learn skills to help them communicate and stay connected when experiencing stress or when they are in conflict. The Gottman method has a lot of data to support its efficacy which is one of the reasons I am such a fan of this approach.

— Gwendolyn Nelson-Terry, Marriage & Family Therapist in Berkeley, CA
 

I have completed Level 1 of Gottman Method training. Gottman Method is heavily researched with long term success with partnerships and couples.

— Sarah Newcomer, Marriage & Family Therapist in Columbus, OH

When starting with most couples, I have them complete a Gottman Relationship Check-up assessment to help me understand, which areas in the relationship are the most pressing. From there I educate my clients on Gottman's 4 Horsemen as it relates to communication in conflict, Love Maps to help build emotional intimacy, Bids for Connection to help them understand when and how to reach for one another, as well as many other Gottman principles to help foster effective communication and intimacy.

— Ashley Gray, Social Worker in Arvada, CO
 

The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect, and affection, remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy in conflicting situations, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship. -Gottman

— Filippo M. Forni, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Los Angeles, CA

I am currently attending Gottman training so I can explore the best possible ways to help couples communicate and interact with each other in a healthy way. I am not a certified therapist, but hope to continue with all levels of training in this specific method.

— Kristin Holland-Pitts, Counselor in Oklahoma City, OK
 

I'm tried in the Gottman method and offer this framework in the work I do with couples and relational systems.

— PNW Sex Therapy Collective: Sex, Intimacy, and Relationship Therapists, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Seattle, WA

I am a Certified Gottman Method Couple Therapist, #406.

— Sheila Addison, Counselor in Oakland, CA
 

I have extensive training and certification in utilizing the Gottman method. This is my primary technique that I use for couples that are struggling with feeling disconnected, having arguments, feeling resentful, lacking romance and intimacy, and overall feeling unloved and not supported by their partner. The couples I have worked with have really enjoyed the tools, as they are easy to understand and apply, and they see results quickly.

— Kala Anders, Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor

Gottman's principles are part of the foundation of my work with couples. In particular, my clients find it helpful to learn and draw from Gottman strategies about connection and communication. They find it easy to understand and not very hard to incorporate, which empowers and provides hope to couples.

— Robin K. Schnitzler, Marriage & Family Therapist in Middleton, WI
 

My success with relationship repair and fortifying is a result of transforming my approach and marriage with Gottman researched tools & strategies. I completed the following Gottman trainings: Level 1 (overview of the research, method), Level 2 (assessment, intervention & co-morbidities training with video samples of research couples), Affairs and Broken Trust repair, Couples & Addiction Recovery. I help your areas of friendship & conflict with this approach.

— Shannon Batts, Licensed Professional Counselor

The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy; and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.

— Monica Manuel, Licensed Professional Counselor in Atlanta, GA
 

Gottman is a specified approach to work with couples that is research-based and relatively short-term. It involves a comprehensive relationship analysis that usually involves 3-4 sessions and then a specific treatment plan which involves helping to reinforce the strengths a couple has and addressing their challenge areas, especially in the area of communication. Therapy sessions are a lab where clients work on their issues with each other and learn how to do things differently. I teach specific skills and there often is homework. I have found that couples that follow through practicing what they have learned at home often make significant progress. I have been trained in Levels I and 2 of Gottman which involved 5 full days.

— Karin Wandrei, Clinical Social Worker in Rohnert Park, CA

Based on scientific research over decades, the Gottman approach offers a lot!

— Keli Dean, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Loveland, CO
 

We create a structured plan for managing conflict and creating emotional and sexual intimacy. I don’t take sides, and never let partners sit and berate each other during session. I am calm and direct, and help couples untangle their complex relationship patterns. We will work together to improve communication, learn to fight fairly, and avoid relationship pitfalls that lead to angry cycles that lead to divorce. I hold couples accountable while offering encouragement and support.

— Connie Kelly, Licensed Professional Counselor Associate in Houston, TX

Maybe you've tried couples counseling in the past, and it didn't really help. Or perhaps you're on the fence about starting therapy, but you're not sure if therapy really "works." If so, Gottman Method couples therapy might be a good fit for you. The Gottman Method is an evidence-based approach to helping couples that teaches couples to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions, repair past hurts, and increase closeness and intimacy.

— Valery Krieg, Clinical Social Worker in Evergreen, CO