Attachment

I am Certified in Attachment Focused EMDR. I empower clients to develop a secure attachment style so they can enjoy healthy relationships. I work with clients that have experienced family of origin or relational trauma that created anxious attachment or avoidant attachment styles that now keep them from having the healthy relationships they want. I utilize inner child experiential techniques, CBT and other modalities to assist clients in developing their securely attached functional adult.

Attachment is a foundational piece of my work as a therapist. I believe deeply that each of us carries the stories of our family and its history within us. Not only that, but you carry the stories they gave to you *about* you. Most of those stories are false. In our work together, we'll dig out the stories that no longer serve you, and create space for new stories to take root. My hope is that our work will help you reclaim your connection to your body, inner wisdom, and authentic truth.

Sometimes you wonder, "Is there something about ME that makes me unlovable to my mom, or is there something about HER and she is not able to show love in a way that feels like love." An infant's ability to trust her mother to meet her needs affects the parent/child relationship through their life. The need for connection, acceptance, and consistent love & support from a mom does not go away when a child moves out. If your relationship with your mom hurts, I can help. I've been there myself.

A large part of the work that I have done in infant mental health is working on building attachment and increasing security in relationships. Attachment is important in every relationship, and I know how to help create and maintain secure attachments even if you have a pattern of insecure attachment in your life.

Babies cannot survive on their own. They need a caregiver to help them. If the caregiving we received was not "good enough" or we experienced early childhood trauma like birth trauma, surgeries, illness and extended separations, we likely developed an insecure attachment. I help clients find safety in relationships again and break patterns of clinging, avoidance, blaming and minimizing. Through trauma informed, IFS, somatic, inner child work I help clients rebuild their foundations.

Our attachment style begins to develop when we are very young children. Ideally, it is a secure attachment but often due to a variety of reasons it is insecure or even avoidant. This impacts adult relationships in ways that people are often unaware. If you need help understanding yourself in your personal relationships, Jeannette York can help.

Humans are social creatures, but as we learn to protect ourselves emotionally we tend to keep others out. Some of us keep others at a distance. We rely on the strength of our fierce independence though inside we might be suffering on our own. Still others of us try very hard to connect, maybe trying too hard and pushing others away or maybe just quietly doubting that others actually like us. My approach explicitly focuses on building security within ourselves and closeness with others.

How we attach to others has to do with who we are attaching to, how we see ourselves and what connection has looked like in the past. We often what to ascribe responsibility to someone for the level of discomfort and hurt that comes as a result of attachment challenges but the work of therapy is to shift from blaming or shaming to a place of care, curiosity and emotional security. Regardless of what causes the attachment wound, each situation is an opportunity for a correct experience.

Another way of getting curious about attachment is to support you in exploring how you relate to your own vulnerability, and what patterns block you from expressing your heart in relationship. I support clients with this process of self-discovery by using mindfulness. With mindful compassionate curiosity, we explore what is true for you related to your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, body sensations, impulses, behaviors, needs, and memories. Mindfulness is a powerful agent of transformation.

Attachment to our caregivers, which begins to develop in our very first months of life, continues to shape who we become and how we make decisions for the rest of our lives. If our needs weren't properly met in our first experiences in childhood, it often leads to difficulty feeling emotionally safe in future relationships to friends, family, loved ones, peers, and even strangers. Our attachment styles can even influence our values, purpose in life, and major life decisions.

Do you have difficulty being vulnerable in your relationships? Do you find yourself unable to reach the level of closeness or emotional depth you desire? I would love to help. I deeply enjoy helping people connect with others in their lives in ways they never thought possible. This usually entails giving yourself a chance to explore what has been getting in the way, which often means taking a compassionate look at the first relationships you developed in your life.

The heart of what I do is support couples and relationships in our community. When I work with individuals, I'm interested in helping you sink into being fully you while being in relationship with others. That might mean learning more about who you are, discovering your needs in relationship, getting support with boundaries and saying "no," processing your childhood and past, or growing your ability to being more vulnerable with others. I want to support you in being your full, authentic self.

I believe that attachment is the foundation for all relationships. I help my clients to understand their attachment style and how this may be preventing them from living the life that they want/.

Once your understand yourself and meet your own needs, you will find confidence to make those tough calls or make good choices that lead to a flourishing life. After understanding what goes into attaching to others, you can develop the connection you want with your partner. The parent-child relationship builds expectations for the future that is invaluable. After receiving practical tools for communicating with your child you will feel closer and more happy at home.

Attachment lies at the core of everything we say and do. It's impossible to talk about good mental health without it.

Much of the way we currently relate to ourselves and others is formed in our early childhood and primary relationships. While it's not necessary (or even a good idea) to excavate our early memories, we will explore how the strategies you developed to make the most of your early life may still be active and holding you back from the life you most want.

Using the Attachment Theory Model, I will work with you strength any areas of need while improving greater satisfaction in relationships.

Working from an attachment framework means I have a deep understanding of how our early caregiver connections affected our ability to soothe ourselves, to ask for help when we need it and to connect with ourselves and others. These early attachments can show up in our adult life even if we are not yet conscious of it. While many of us were hurt by not receiving the love and nurturance we deserved as little ones, we also heal in loving supportive authentic relationships. These are possible.

For most people, repetitive, problematic patterns in relationships usually stem from attachment adaptations that were learned in childhood. Because we live with these patterns (sometimes others', sometimes our own) for so long, we often can't see the forest for the trees, so to speak. If you would like to gain more insight into why the same problems keep happening in your relationships, and learn how to change these patterns, please reach out.

Aversion to touch and physical affection? Control issues? Anger problems? Difficulty showing genuine care and affection? Lack of inhibition? Struggling with a sense of self or conscience? This might be related to attachment. If you related to these descriptors or find yourself to be struggling within relationships, let's talk.