Jill, a woman in her 30's, never thought therapy was for her. Her early childhood and adolescent exposure to the idea of counseling left her feeling that she didn't "deserve" to get help through therapy because she hadn't suffered enough trauma. She was eventually able to let go of those restrictive ideas and started looking into therapy as a way to find more satisfaction and meaning in her life. Her first therapist was not a good fit. But did she give up? No! She found the perfect match in her second therapist, whose values-based, solution-focused approach helped her get clarity on what was really important to her.
Jeff, a licensed therapist and the host of Say More About That, talks with Jill about her experience of searching for a therapist and going to counseling.
This episode covers:
Oh her conversation with her friend (me) about when she started to think differently about counseling:
“I remember when you told me that therapists don’t give advice. That blew my mind. Because I always thought it was like a ‘Dear Abby’ or a ‘Dan Savage.’ I thought it was a bootcamp to get my life together. I confused it with a life coach. I didn’t know that it was a longer process than that. That you come to the conclusions versus being told what to do.”
On meeting her first therapist:
“She said she was CBT. I don’t know what that means. I have never taken a psychology class in college. So she could say that her background was in Carl Jung but I have no idea what that means.”
On being hesitant about finding and investing in another therapist:
“It’s such an obstacle to try and figure out how to see a therapist. I knew I was going to have to pay out of pocket. And the cost for it, even though I knew the value of therapy, I could instead get a really long and good massage every week instead. What if I just did that and worked it out while I was getting a massage?”
On why it’s important to always have a good therapist on hand:
“I wanted to find a therapist because when trauma and grief start happening in my life I don’t want to be seeking a therapist in that headspace. I think it’s a really hard time mentally to be looking for a therapist. So I wanted to have a therapist that already knew me and understood me. It’s like earthquake readiness but for my emotions if disaster strikes.”
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