Nonviolent Communication

Do you want to resolve conflicts - with yourself and others - in ways that honor your deepest needs? Do you want solutions that work for you and also meet the needs of others? Nonviolent Communication is about how to make that happen. It's about creating the kind of relationship that helps to meet, or at least honor, everyone's needs. It doesn't always get us what we want, but it greatly increases the chances of truly satisfying our underlying needs.

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

I have found nonviolent communication to be extremely helpful in clearer and more accurate expression. Additionally, the use of nonviolent communication bypasses many of the standard miscommunications and perceived offenses of standard conversation, facilitating information flow without argument. Interestingly, the use of nonviolent communication may also make the speaker appear more charismatic and persuasive.

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

Most of us have been taught to communicate passively, critically, or manipulatively––and that’s so normal to us that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. That is, until we find ourselves feeling powerless to get our needs met, repeating the same conflicts with those we love, and feeling alone or trapped in our relationships. The nonviolent framework provides a systematic approach by teaching us to be present to our own needs, feelings, and requests without blaming others or internalizing shame.

I look to create communication that decreases defensiveness. I believe NVC is one of the best ways to do this. NVC addresses the issue in a way that is non-threatening as well as offers solutions, so the problem doesn't continuously emerge.

If you have struggles communicating with your family, friends, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, boss, teacher, neighbor, etc. you will benefit from learning nonviolent communication (NVC). NVC is being used around the world to aid in communication and to decrease conflict. NVC is composed of four parts: observations, feelings, needs, requests. When you focus on your own experience, the receiver hears the message without blame or criticism (and are less likely to become defensive).

I help people to learn the principles of nonviolent communication so as to be able to respectfully assert to one another, as well as to hear feedback non-defensively.

I have been using NVC since before becoming a therapist. My partner first introduced it to me back in 2016 as a helpful way to relate to children. But as Marshall Rosenberg made clear, its use can serve people of all ages from any background. This is because the emphasis is on understanding someone else's underlying needs, which we all have. In communicating with "I" statements, recognizing ones feelings and values, and requesting help, we avoid blame, evaluation, and demands that alienate us.

Communication is a struggle for many people. We want to feel heard and hear others. I use NVC to help people learn how to communicate better and to listen with love.

NVC teaches us to understand and know what our needs and feelings are. I come back again and again to this practice with clients, no matter the circumstance.

Non-violent Communication is a fundamental skill that everyone should have, and yet in our fast-paced, go-get-em society so few of us do. I have specialized training (and practice! ), enabling me to help you learn how to communicate "with" people instead of "at" them, be better understood and get more of what you want by learning how to enlist help from those you are speaking with, rather than alienating them.

I have 10+ years of practice with NVC. It has shaped how I think and interact in my personal life as well as how I understand clients.

Communication styles and patterns are learned. We can learn new ones and unlearn what doesn't serve us. If the goal is to achieve harmony and progressive and positive outcomes as a result of communication, learning how to do this so our approach is effective, has integrity, and the goals are clearly defined. It's incredibly frustrating to attempt to communicate with someone important in our lives only to be met with defensiveness and a lack of receptivity. Let's improve the outcomes together.