James Valdes (he/him)

Porn, Sex, or Love/Romance addiction or compulsivity. I know this arena well and even worked at an addiction treatment center for three years running groups and counseling clients one to one. Struggling in this area can drag a person down into the depth of shame and low self worth. I can help you step out of the shadows of these behaviors and guide you in re-creating your life. Not an easy journey, but well worth it.

Low self-worth? Or always doing things for other people and never yourself? Putting up with people treating you poorly but for some reason you find yourself back in their lives again? Some part of might even know something is wrong, but you can't seem to leave the environment. This can leave you isolated, alone, depressed, resentful... I can help guide through this into facing both the external factors that are causing you harm and the internal factors that underlie your behavior or lack of.

Failure after failure. You can't seem to get the relationship thing right. Severe depression can result. Sometimes it is the opposite, no feelings. Intimacy is scary & I don't mean sexual intimacy, I mean real intimacy where the other person gets to know all about you. Maybe you find it difficult to commit. Or maybe you have heightened feeling of love or desire early on, but then it fades in a flash. I can help you sort through your behaviors including your choices in mates, and then flourish.

Couples counseling can be extremely beneficial. Obviously it helps the couple find more harmony, but it can also be an avenue for self-growth for the individuals too. Relationships bring out our triggers and charges us emotionally. I use a Gottman Method framework, but also use other techniques that help each person connect withing themselves and to heal. This method helps people change their outlook and change their behavior. Sometimes a referral for one or both of the individuals helps too.

Couples counseling can not only provide communications tools, but it can also help the individuals' personal growth and help change relationship patterns. Relationships bring out our triggers and charges us emotionally. I use a Gottman Method framework, but also use other techniques that help each person connect withing themselves and to heal. The result is people change their outlook and change their behavior. Sometimes if appropriate a referral for one or both of the individuals helps too.

This method is amazing. I call it a short-cut to mindfulness, but it's so much more than that. Our difficulties come from both external and internal forces. The best way to deal with external forces is to be in your best state of mind to deal with them. As humans much of our suffering comes from internal forces such as our own beliefs and thoughts, how we cope and behave. IFS serves to identify when our protective behaviors are causing issues and then to heal the underlying hurt parts.

Mindfulness is part of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy umbrella of psychotherapy. The difference is that it is more about non-judgmental observation of your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. I have been practicing mindfulness for 15 years and ran a social mindful group with over 1000 members for over a decade. The benefits of mindfulness have been thoroughly researched. I have tools and resources to help you as I incorporate this practice into working with you.