Maybe it is because I grew up in a large family that conflict does not unravel me. I am able to remain regulated when clients are quickly unraveling, which helps the client to then regain even leveled emotions. The family is a system and all parts need to be interacting in a healthy way in order for the system to be progressing. When that is not possible, then realistic boundaries must be put into play. We all have a personal responsibility to ourselves first.
BrainSpotting is a gentle but unbelievable way to reduce activation that anxiety causes in the body. Where we look determines how we feel, and how we feel causes our body to respond, often in a negative way. BrainSpotting requires little talking by the therapist and the client. The brain is able to move and process quite quickly once the spot in the brain that the troubling event has been held. Most individuals find relief in one session depending on the intensity of the event.
I use Imago and EFT with couples. Communication tools can only go so far, often an individual needs to be heard by the therapist to find the courage to talk their "unsafe" partner. When heard and validated empowerment shows up and then there is movement. When are designed for connection, but sometimes we are not sure what that looks like. Sometimes in couples counseling, my job is to educate what boundaries, accountability, and a true partnership is like in a relationship. Not everyone grew up in a functional household, but with commitment and hard work, the reward of a healthy relationship is possible.
Using EFT with couples can often bring amazing results when the partner of the wounded one, can gain a new perspective and see his or partner's view. This is where true understanding and then compassion, hopefully forgiveness can happen. EFT is all about expanding the view and allow the connection to grow in a safe environment. Many times the safe place is my office. Once a couple gets a "taste" of safety and the need for connection is ignited once again, magic happens.